bongo oye

Jack Mrisho celebrates kombe la duniya triumph

Tanzania wins kombe la Duniya!

I saw it with my own two eyes – Bongo won the world cup! I saw the captain Jack Mrisho beaming to the cameras while holding the cup which he had just been awarded by someone with a forgettable name.

We are coming a long way. Other prezs hardly had interest in sports. But barely had Jack Mrisho settled at State Houses did he do a sporting event of the year – he pardoned Ismail Aden Rage. His buddy? Don’t know, but definitely the prez’s prerogative.

So we are having a prez who seems interested in sport. I hear he is a card carrying member of ‘Yanga’. But don’t tell anyone. That is a state secret and we might be having riots from ‘Simba’ fans.

Well if he is all teeth to sports then he might as well tell his armed forces to quicken their blood now and then- especially police officers. You are introduced to some officers and you become embarrassed. How can an officer weigh nearly a ton?

Okay, we are told that we should judge armed forces officers by what they have in the minds, a thing which I agree with entirely. But, like good chow, the way it is presented matters too. I mean half a ton of police officer in front of you and you start wondering whom he is policing at.

What he needs is a gym to melt those rolls of fat. Which is why we, the wananchi, look very suspiciously at those police officers who are as big as houses. I don’t mean houses around Tandale – those are mere shacks. I mean houses at Mikocheni.

And how come these guy loose weight once they are replaced? It means one thing - the eating business.

Not only the cops and military. Fitness should be compulsory. I saw Jack Mrisho lording it over his cabinet. It looked quite cool. Although I would have liked him to bring completely fresh faces.

Anyway what he could do is secretly order the weight of all ministers to be taken before they are sworn-in. Then after five years the wakubwa should be weighed again. The questing is: “Minister where is your lean and hungry look you used to wear when you were not minister?”

I know it could come from a change of atmosphere. You are nothing and hungry now. Then suddenly you are sworn-in as minister. You change your house for an air-conditioned villa. You ride an air-conditioned car. You start meeting air-conditioned ‘friends’. Things change.

Maybe Jack Mrisho should order the building of a gym at Ikulu to exercise his battalion of ministers every Friday – the way army officers are required to do so at army headquarters in Upanga.

Police supremo, Braza Ommy Mahita should also be told that the police officers mess should be more than for senior cops to quaff beer and munch succulent pieces of chicken.