Wednesday, April 29, 2009

reggie mengi has a lot up his sleeve?

Reggie Mengi ready to roll & rumble

Mengi reveals state secrets 

The nation’s collective jaw dropped in amazement last Wednesday when IPP boss, Reggie Mengi called a press conference and revealed a state secret. He publicly named five alleged "corruption sharks" in the country, saying they were allegedly responsible for the looting of billions of shillings of public money.

Mengi named names of some prominent individuals, all Tanzanians of Indian descent, [ CUT???– Rostam Aziz, Tanil Somaiya, Yusuf Manji, Jeetu Patel and Subash Patel ]– who, he alleged, were "involved in almost all scandals that have happened in our country." 

"The number of people who are accused of being especially corrupt in our country do not exceed ten…But out of the ten, these five are accused of being the sharks of corruption." He said.

Corruption scandals allegedly linked to the named individuals are Richmond and Dowans power generating deals, the Bank of Tanzania external payment arrears (EPA) account scam, procurement scandals, scandals involving military helicopters and vehicles, the overpriced Gulf Stream presidential jet purchase and the Mchuchuma Coal project.

Other scandals allegedly associated with some of the named suspects include the $41 million military radar deal, national lottery dealings, and dubious deals with the National Social Security Fund (NSSF) and Public Service Pensions Fund (PSPF).

All five are leading local personalities who have been widely associated with a number of allegations concerning grand corruption. The government, which has been looking the other way amid these accusations, does not seem to know what to do.

The accused have claimed they are innocent. {AGAIN take out the names?] One was cool: "As a Tanzanian citizen Mengi has a right to comment on any matter. But I don’t know anything about his accusations. Maybe he knows what he is saying." He said.

But another swung right back. He dismissed Mr. Mengi’s accusation as "baseless" saying that they were coming from a person with "a lot of problems". He retorted: "Mengi has failed to maintain his own family and businesses and he talks nonsense."

Tough words from both sides. No one expects Mr Mengi to be charged with treason. The "secret" he has revealed has been widely known amongst all Tanzanians, an unofficial "state secret". Mengi is just the first high calibre man to say it publicly.

There is more than meets the eye in this. "When you accuse the buddies of top government honchos of such dirt, you are simply touching raw nerves in government. Tanzanians are used to those people being untouchable. They are beyond approach," said an analyst.

But the analyst also said that to utter such accusations, Mr Mengi must have been given him a tacit nod to do so from some big guns in the government. They are the patriots who are fed up with the sell-out by our rulers. "Those have been lately behaving like they are the real rulers of Tanzania. And why not? They seem to have the entire top government and party in their pockets," said an analyst who preferred to remain anonymous.

Although the ruling party, CCM, has been vehemently denying that it has been bought by rich people, nearly everyone knows that the party is currently being bankrolled by the rich, including those five individuals. Tanzanians laugh in their sleeves whenever CCM leaders declare that it is the party for common people.

Maybe it is too late for a government counter-offensive. But the government has been known silently and effectively to reign in businessmen who make embarrassing utterances against it.

The Tanzania Revenue Authority (TRA) could suddenly get ‘efficient’ and Mr. Mengi could find himself slapped with impossible income tax bills. But, if Mr. Mengi has his defenders quietly guarding his interests in government he might survive the coming war.

Milipuko jeshini

Bombs explode in Dar!
This noon my buddy and I sat sipping ginger tea when we heard a loud explosion.
“Must be the rains on their way out.” I observed as I reached out for a kitumbua.
My friend phone rang and he became all excited. “Adam a bomb!”
“Yeah! Yeah!.” Said I still feeling groggy from late night attentions, “If a bomb exploded then it must be by none other than Reggie Mengi of IPP. He is the one who has been exploding bombs – political bombs. Last week government minister Sophia Simba has been making noises to ban people from exploding political bombs…”
“No man. This is for real! Bombs have exploded at Mbagala. It could be a revolution…” he guys blurted, obviously confused.
“Nonsense. Mbagala has a ammo dump and ammo dumps tend to explode once you treat them carelessly.” I told my excited friend.

Indeed. I hoped that no one got hurt. In Bongo we have no civil defense units. People are not even told that such areas are no-go areas. But most people, and vibakas, love disaster. They usually go there to rob other nosey people.

Terrorist love such a scenario. You explode a small bomb and let the curious, nosey ones and vibakas gather there to ‘see’. That is when the terrorists explode the real big bomb and you have carnage amongst you. God forbid!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Magaidi wa hali ya hewa!

Eco-terrorists sabotage Union ceremony!
Last Sunday, a day which was supposed to be of jubilation, almost turned into a day of mourning. A plane from Dar sent to pick up Zanzibar President Amani Abeid Karume failed to land at Zenj airport. Instead it turned tail and went back to Dar es salaam.

A communiqué released by a shadowy terrorist group, the Adverse Weather Conditions Liberation Front (AWCLF) has vowed to sabotage the airport until the revolutionary Government of Zenj joins the muafaka talks.

The President of the United Republic of Tanzania, JK was a lonely figure as he waited for President Karume at Dar es Salaam’s Uhuru Stadium.
Even his well-known smile could not lift the mood of the AWCLF as it continued to pound both Dar es Salaam and Zanzibar with constant rains.

In Zenj, the secretary to the President, Haroud Shaib, cautioned against “wild speculation”. Some wild animals, like monkeys and Zenj lions (on tour from Ngorongoro) were seen lurking near the airport. Government officials vowed that the AWCLF would be defeated, not with harsh action, but by rectitude and kindness of the people of Tanzania.

Mr Shaib noted however that Zanzibar Chief Minister Shamsi Vuai Nahodha and his deputy Ali Juma Shamhuna and several members of the Zanzibar cabinet attended the 45 anniversary show. Some were photographed with Prez himself – they were reportedly talking about the weather.

Meanwhile a high-powered probe team has been set-up to check out the claims of AWCLF. I is comprised of respectable chaps whose names have been linked to EPA scandals. (Continued on Page 94)

Bwana awe nanyi!

Jobless? Start a Church

I was talking to a young lad and he was busy complaining of lack of jobs around. “Try clearing and forwarding.” I suggested helpfully.
“I can’t sir. I am not a member of the ruling party NEC. Neither do I belong to the CCM itself.” He complained.

“Ok. Why don’t you seek a job in some bank, or something?” I said.
“I would sir. But my father is not a highly placed official in the government. He is a peasant.”

“Okay. Try logging, my boy. It’s a good business.You simply cut trees and export them to Thailand and China. There is money there.”

“Mzee, But I don’t know the director of forestry.” The eager young man replied.

I looked at him thoughtfully. Obviously the lad needed help. He did not have his father’s coat tails to hang on. He was just alone, and he needed a job. Society was on the verge of making another gangster. That’s what jobless teens turn to. Most girls and boys turn to prostitution.

Then it came to me. “Look young man, why don’t you start a Church? There is good dough in churches. Something like Church enterprises. There is good dosh. It is tax free and TRA doesn’t bother you.”

“How do I do that sir?” he enquired anxiously.

“First give yourself a rank. Call yourself something like ‘Reverend’ Then you start preaching that you can cure anything – AIDS, you can make cripples walk, you can bring the dead back to life. Tell whoever will listen to you that you can raise the dead. They wake up from their graves and start dancing the rumba, or something.”

“Will they believe that sir?”

“Of course. Just believe in your lies and they will believe in whatever song you sing. Then after two months promote yourself to archbishop and say Haleluhya everytime.”

“But sir, will they buy that?”

“Of course. Never forget that there is a sucker born every minute in this world. They will believe whatever you say. It is good business, the, religion business.”

“Thanks sir. I think I will start a church.”
“Do that, my lad. You want me to suggest a name for your church?”
“Yessir!”

“Okay. Call it the Full Nondo Gospel Church. It pays. Just don’t forget to Haleluhya a lot. And when you get a crowd of worshippers announce that you will run for parliament”

“How so?”

“By that time you will have all those titles. You could call yourself prophet. So your name will be Dr. Prophet Nicodemus (MP) of the Full Nondo Gospel Church!”
“Sounds great, sir.”
“Go for it, young man!”




Veve penda mimi?

Tanzanian mwins Miss India contest

In a brilliant display of Indo-Tanzania cooperation Miss India was chosen in Dar es Salaam last week-end. Most Tanzanians leapt with joy when Miss Sunitra Prakash was chosen as Miss India for the next 12 years.

A Tanzanian source said Bongo has learnt a lot from India. “We have learnt that when we have to have these beauty contests we have to have certain categories. They have to be light skinned, and have nothing from shoulders up. If we can’t get those types in Tanzania then we will borrow some beauties from India.” He said.

He said that plans are afoot to take a dozen Tanzanian girls, with nothing from shoulders up, to go and train in India on how to look like Miss Tanzania. They should also know how to eat curry.

The Miss India event in Dar was seated with an all Tanzanian judge panel. They were Mr Tandoori Chakarbourty, Mr Amitabh Naan, Mr Bipin Suresh, Mr Pratap Singh Dhillon, Miss Muntaz Lawalawa and Mr Gutkha Tambuu. Also present was the contest organiser Miss Hashim Lundeng…sorry Mr Hashim, who has been the kingpin in organising the annual contest.

Others were Mr Bipin Daal Bajia who has a tight eye for good looking girls, Mr Bateta Wada and Miss Tikka Mushkaki who is an expert in beauty contests.

As the Miss India contestants displayed their curves soothing tunes by Jagjit and Chitra Singh were played, to the delight of the audience whose majority was African. One known Catholic worshipper intimated to this columnist that he would convert to Hinduism. “I have never been so touched by the ghazals of Jagjit and Chitra Singh.”

Sources in the ministry of fun, said that they are seriously thinking of organising the Miss India contest on a weekly basis. They said they will soon contact their minister to see the possibly of organising the event at State House. This will also boost the prestige of the nation. The nation will then look nice and pretty.

Ministry for fun officials also intimated that they will ask deputy minister Joe Bendera to teach the contestants how to play football. “The idea is to make them multi-talented. One minute they will be wriggling their arses and the next they will be playing football.” Said a source.

After her win Miss Sunitra Prakash was asked how she felt to win millions and become the new Miss India in Tanzania. “Ane, Ve in India like the pally
pally relations viz Tanjanya.” She said – a thing which caused a standing ovation.

Asked what makes two and two, she thought for awhile, “Ane, you know vee in India do sums like dat. Ve in India ask like dis, two two make vat? I say four. Sawa? You understand? Umeshalewa?”








Miwaya

Is the 'dudu' curable or not?
The almost desperate struggle to find the cure for HIV/Aids is going on and on. One thing about this struggle is humankind’s effort to wipe it out of the face if the earth.

The solution to the cure of the pandemic has ranged from the plausible to the ludicrous. Every herbalist swears by everything: “HIV/Aids is not a disease. It has its roots on poverty.” Claimed former South African president Thabo Mbeki. I wonder what South Africa’s president elect, Jack Zuma thinks of the war against HIV/Aids. Uncle Zuma is into wives. He has two wives and co0ming soon is a third nchumba.

Anyway Thabo Nbeki ended up getting a very bad press. But more thoughtful Africans have kept a deafening silence over the matter. Ask any African president whether he had drunk herbs as he or she was growing up and they will gladly say yes.

Of course the herbalist would not be wearing fancy white gowns and gloves. But people get cured. I once met a guy having a beer and I quickly pointed his foot. The last time I met him he had a very bad ulcer. Frankly he was stinking.

Now he was okay, having a beer and gave me his story: “I met this aunt from Dodoma. When I explained, she pooh-poohed the whole story. Then she ground a few leaves into a pulp and applied the stuff into the ulcer. The rest is history.”

The rest is for this scribe to tell you the guy who gave me his story is a medical doctor trained at Muhimbili University College of Health and Sciences

You see there are other cultures who are very brilliant at pinching from other cultures. The Europeans pinched the secret of destroying various fevers from the use of quinine. The Aztecs and Incas knew about the ball games ages ago.

We have been using local herbs for ages. But when quacks came in from foreign lands they got us proper medicines, with fancy wrappings to add value. We know that they spend ages in our forests looking for potions which has made Africans survive over centuries.

We have been stung by Africa’s deadliest snakes, we have survives slave trades – the American and Arab ones, we have been made dinners by lions and other carnivore.

All that abuse by other races and the African is still round. Enslaved and now you see the African competing against another African in the 100 metres of the Olympic finals. Wasn’t he a Kenyan last year?

Oh, they are about to find the latest way to fight HIV/Aids. Male ‘cuts’ could hold back HIV spread says a report. So they have discovered that, eh? A study shows that if the males have ‘cuts’, meaning circumcision this could significantly reduce new HIV infections in the population as a whole.

But the experts hastily add that you must wear the condoms. It seems that many have opted for local herbal potion. The foreigners are told to wait and use ARVs. They could work. I does not mean the end of the world. And they ignore the ‘roots’ Some even call it outright quackery.

But if that is quackery, how come once in a while you find some ‘experts’ in some bush eagerly sampling out our roots. Are they doing that for fun or has the African forests have something to offer the rest of humanity. It will be presented and discovered to the world by Western scientists, of course.






Ubabe wa nini?

Stop governmen bullying!
The other day I was watching the Minister in the President’s Office, Hawa Ghasia performing in the Bunge. She was threatening MPs that their privileges and immunities that go with their offices do not cover them against holding classified government documents.

The baby-faced minister was wagging a government finger and threatening MPs that using such documents for political motives were breaking the law, that anyone holding such documents was liable to prosecution – because there is no immunity for such MPs. She was threatening MPs with jail.

Sounds like an idle threat to me. I mean MPs are politicians. If they get rot in government (and there is plenty of it), it is their job to blow the whistle. Some politicians have made quite a name for themselves – simply for doing their job. And may they be blessed for that.

Mama Ghasia should be reminded that the people of the United Republic of Tanzania, would never have heard of the theft of 130 bn /- External Payment Arrears accounts. They would never have heard of rip-offs of Kagoda. They would never even had a whiff of the Tanzanian Embassy premises in Italy, the buying of scrap helicopters of the army, the radar rip-off and presidential jet scam.

The scandals were not announced amid great fanfare to the people by the government of Tanzania. They were announced by patriotic MPs, who have had enough of crap. People can take just enough. Now they are saying enough is enough! That will not go away by crude government bullying.

Everyone knows whom the MPs Mama Ghasia was talking about. The government wants to paint them as some kind of criminals, stealing secrets
and embarrassing our great, benevolent government. That they are terrorists!

Well, the government’s ‘terrorists’ are the freedom fighters of the vast majority of Tanzanians. When they speak they are listened to and trusted by the people. If the government touches them it only makes them instant heroes.

From the way it was described, it is as if the ‘criminal’ MPs were busy stealing government secrets. That’s is very wrong, Mama Ghasia. MPs don’t go spying in government offices.

The fact is the sources of those ‘secrets’ are patriotic government officials who have had it up to their necks, with the muck they see within the government. They leak the stuff to clear their consciences and just try to do something in their humble way to fight the rot. They are the silent heroes, not from a sinister foreign organization, but from the government itself.

It is a surprise that the politics of the 1960s are creeping back in Bongo today. The government should stop the politics of intimidating the MPs. Presently Tanzanians are eagerly waiting the annulment of bad laws which are perceived oppressive and contrary to the constitution and good governance. That is what the government should be talking about. Government bullying in this age is of particularly of bad taste!





Polisi jangili

Cop caught poaching
A lowly corporal commanding the Loksale section in Monduli District, in Arusha Region last week decided to emulate Tanzanian leaders by ‘eating’ from his office. The corporal was caught poaching.

The corporal with an apt name of Amani, decided to wreak violence to the wildlife in his area. He was caught with three dead giraffes with a fellow poacher, the Loksale primary schoolteacher, one Amiru.

Wildlife officials caught the duo in a vehicle laden with the dead giraffes. They had with then two sub-machine guns, property of the police department.
He will face a court martial.

One can imagine in his defense, Corporal Amani chuckling and say: “But I was planning to sell meat from two giraffes. What about those big shots in Dar who stole $11 billion as tax exemptions from Tanzanians?”

Last week former finance minister, Basil Mramba told a Dar court that the tax exemption granted to an international gold production audit firm, which caused the country a loss of $11 million, was authorized by the Mkapa administration.

Mramba admitted that he signed the notice in favour of Alex Stewart (assayers) Government Business Corporation, but said it was on instruction from State House.

Sweet, just sweet! School kids sitting on floors, no books, no teachers, babies born on floors of local dispensaries and you give tax-exemption of $11 million!

The verdict is clear here. Corporal Amani and his fellow poacher should be given life behind bars for his crimes. On the other hand State House honchos should be given medals for exemplary service to our economy. Forgiving filthy rich wazungus from paying tones of money to the Tanzanian treasury!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Chantal Biya: the first lady of Cameroon

At the African First Ladies Health Summit, which started on Monday in Los Angeles, one woman stood out...

from zenj with luv


Creative accounting in Zenj 
 
The pay is not the greatest in Zenj, The pay is not the greatest in all Bongo. Unless, of course, you are a politician in the winning party.
 
Which is why people most people have decided to 'eat’ using their offices. I remember a colleague (now doing time in jail) decided to  'kill’ his father three times before we found out his tricks.
 
Some 22 accountants in Zenj also decided to be creative and earn themselves some more dosh. The Zanzibari government painfully found out that the guys siphoned off a billion shillings. They paid ghost workers 
and promptly pocketed the money themselves.
 
Which makes sense to me. How do I starve when millions pass through my hands everyday?  You become, you know, creative.
 
Personally I would never have made a decent accountant. I would have been in jail ages ago.  Besides, I hate the power thing. I believe that accountants are sub-consciously dictators and sadists. Just look at their faces when they tell you that your cheque is not ready yet.
 
I mean it! Look at the sadistic glee your accountant wears on his or her face when they tell you that your money is not ready yet. You wonder if the guy is about to get an orgasm or something.
 
Over the years societies realised that accountants had this ‘thing’ about them. They created another department – the audit section.  Many an accountant have ended up in the lam. It’s not even a newsworthy story when an accountant is jailed.
 
Rock star, Sting, had 3.5 million pounds (7 billion) siphoned off by his accountant. Sting is a multi-millionaire. He never felt the sting of his accountant ‘eating’ his money. It was the auditors who found that out. The accounting thief
 
Partly the problem in Zenj is in names. Do you know that Haji Salum Haji and Salum Haji Salum are two different persons? They are not even related.
 
Okay try this: Iddi Pandu Iddi and  Pandu Iddi Pandu. Not related. They don’t even know each other. Jecha Haji Jecha and Hajji Jecha Haji are two different geezers. An auditor’s nightmare.
 
So the accountants in Isles got busy and creative. They discovered 1,400 Salum Haji Salums and lived it up – maybe acquiring more wives in the process (It’s s an African thing). Luckily they got nabbed.



nyama choma

plenty of nyama choma around

Eat nyama choma. That’s an order!
 
I frankly find it very hilarious. The Opposition in parliament has blamed the government for failing to enlighten the people on the benefits of eating nyama choma, beer and eggs for good health. 
 
At a show in Dodoma the opposition has also blamed the government for not forcing Bongo people to drink milk which is in abundance in the country.
 
Shadow Minister Mwadini Abbas Jecha who is MP for Wete (CUF) told the MPs that meat-eating, especially nyama choma, has always been down in the country. 

I take it that Hon. Jecha was trying to be funny. If it was that, then hats off to the mheshimiwa.
 
Armed with statistics, the shadow minister said on the average the people of Bongo eat only 12 kilos of meat 54 eggs and drink only 30 litres of milk, while every Kenyan chops 20 kilos of meat, 300 eggs sand guzzles at least 70 litres of milk per year.
 
The shadow minister said that people of Bongo should eat at least 50 kilos of meat, 300 eggs and 200 litres of milk a year. 

The mwashimiwa should be politely reminded that kind of talk borders on the ludicrous. It’s not that you have to present your good looks to get free meat, eggs and milk. 

You bloody have to buy the stuff!
 
You have to pay with good, old cold dosh. You pay for it. Okay, MPs can afford it. Why do you think they literary fall all over themselves come electiontime? Not because of a higher ideal. 

They want to get some money so that they can buy nyama choma (Near Dodoma) and guzzle beer.
 
In the morning you can drink a cold glass of milk while waiting for your scrambled eggs on toast.

To ask Tanzanians why are they refusing to eat eggs and eat meat and drink milk is insensitivity of the highest order. That, in the country where the vast majority the people live on literally nothing, but empty promises by the rulers.
 
Why don’t our honourables say that the people of Bongo should eat more fruit? It is healthy. I met a man from the Mbeya referral hospital He looked poorly. You could not say he was a picture of good health. One his daughters stopped near some fruit kiosk, and  "Baba, you have been told eat oranges". 

She bought two oranges for her daddy.
 
On enquiry the father was only suffering of lack of vitamin C. And some MPs say that Tanzanians should eat more meat, eggs and milk. 

Cruel joke!   
 

of male and female fish (or fishes?)


Only male fish should be harvested?

One thing I love about our Bunge is that it can be vastly entertaining. Apart from the bum numbing speeches you hear some gems of humour. 

Bum-numbing speeches because you get the impression what some honourables don’t know what they are talking about.
 
Y’see, Bongo have come to believe that guys wearing some mostly frayed and out of fashion suits are vastly intelligent than the rest of the wananchi. 

Which is nonsense, of course. Anyone, at least most of us can wear suits. What with the mtumba culture we have embraced? 

But does that make you clever? An emphatic no! I’ll tell you what – what is the biggest thing con-men do when they want to make a kill. 

They wear natty clothes and are usually armed with smart-looking briefcases.
 
Now that takes you in and you dip you hand, take out your wallet, gladly part with your hard gained moola.  But things are changing. 

If I see some bore droning on and on about what his or her ministry is going to do, or rather not do, to the people of Bongo, I stab my TV remote control for better entertainment. 
 
You know the guys are simply performing for the cameras. TV is a politician’s oxygen. Without it he is dead. No wonder they try as much as possible to compromise the press. And we oblige. Njaa. 

And which is why every biggie has started his press unit – stories and pictures of which are forcefully rammed down the throats of the conventional press. 
 
 But, as I said earlier the honourables can be funny. One suggested that the only way to increase fish stocks in our lakes and rivers is to catch only male fish. Which is brilliant!
 
The remaining male fish will be having a ball – having harems of female fish. You can imagine the fight of the female fish over a male salmon (Mbasa) in Lake Nyasa, or the migiebuka in Lake Tanganyika, or tilapia in Lake Vicky. 

But is the government ready to call the fish riot police to bring peace to furious female fish fighting over the few remaining male fish?
 
And, try telling that to a fisherman in, say, Lake Nyasa. 

The fish police will stop him and:  "Hey how many fish, what’s your catch there?"

"Twenty sir. Six males and fourteen females." The fisherman will reply.

"I am afraid you have to throw the females back to the lake. That’s government regulation".

"But sir, that is ruination! I have a family".

"Orders are orders! Female fish chicks will have to be thrown back to the lake. We need plenty of fish babies". the fish police, probably a sergeant, will bark

nana in iringa talks

Hi Lusekelo,
 
I am Nnala K. Mwakanyamale currently residing in Iringa town. I got an opportunity to read your article published in DAILY NEWS Wednesday, April 22, 2009 page 4. The heading of your short article goes this way,"When Imagination Run High".
 
I think reps from Tanzania Island have something in their minds far too than imaginations. When you talk about oil rich countries, it comes to mind that you are talkining about wealth. This is to say, you simply talk about rich countries. Crude oil is liquid, this is to say it is easily converted into monies given the importance attached to it. Besides, crude oil cannot be compred to food stuffs like mchicha, and social practices like marriege. Ofcourse, you can get married to a nigerian woman without benefiting from their crude oil reserves present in their country.
 
Actually, I have not ready the Muungano treaty and I do not know what it includes and excludes when it comes to the use of resources discovered or present from the other side. What I see, read and here is that there are potential problems regarding Muungano and there are no deliberate efforts to solve them. This can be one of the reason why, some Island reps start pulling out the Muungano pot when valuable assets like crude oil is being discovered on their side. I think they are trying to use loopholes present in the Muungano treaty, this is just my opinion.
 
Another reason from my own perspective is; Muungano was set to carter for joint benefit, I mean both Tanganyika and Zanzibar to win from it. This is to say, people from Tanganyika and Zanzibar had such expectation at the time their leaders signed the treaty. Mind you, planned course of action is not necessarily what is implemented. I think, especially people from Tanzania island are fade up by the Muungano implimentation given they are not opportunists and greedy.
 
Regards,
 
Nnala Mwakanyamale.

muluzi factor

Mubaraka welcomes Muluzi in Cairo, then

Et tu Bakili Muluzi?
 
Malawi’s former ruler, Bakili Muluzi has been charged with multiple counts of corruption, which is a polite way of saying stealing. 

He has allegedly pinched $12 million of his own people’s money. I hear he did this by fiddling and pocketing the dosh through the United Republic of Tanzania.
 
Muluzi, who was arrested last week by Malawian agents of the Anti-Corruption Bureau (ACB), has been charged with 42 counts of corruption, theft and breach of trust. ACB Director, Gustave Kaliwo Mr Muluzi allegedly stole another $50,000 which the Malawi government sent to its high commission in Dar es Salaam. Just like that!
 
There should be some complicity on the Tanzania and knowing how greedy we can be, with no compunction all.
 
The $12 million were donor funds. The moneys from Taiwan, Morocco, Libya and Rwanda, were meant for development projects.
 
First I give a nod of approval to the ACB and it’s agents. Muluzi is a rich man, he might have made the agents, er, see reason by giving out back-handers to agents. Of course compared to our agents in Tanzania Anti-Corruption ours are (ZZZZzzzzzz!).
 
Malawi has been suffering a crippling famine. Women have been selling their own children so that they can buy food for the rest of the children food.
 
And someone steals $12 million, and puts the money snugly in his account. One would hope Mr Muluzi is found innocent. 

But if found guilty for such nefarious deeds, he should be thrown in the lam for a long time It should not be like Bongo, where big time theft is rewarded handsomely.
 
We once were told to offer 'proof’ that some guys stole, while everybody knew, that the ruler and his hangers-on were doing some stealing in money or favour. But things are changing now.
 
So when you see some of our rulers, all teeth, shaking hands and looking at the cameras, you should look at the other side. They are calculating on how to raid their countries’ treasuries. 

But they should now start looking over their shoulders. Their former empire, where people once worshipped them and their families, will strike back. 

In fact it’s very past time to strike back. Just who do they think they are?
 


Monday, April 20, 2009

ACHANA NA MSOSI




ARE YOU A FOODIE OR NOT ?

Strange world. While we are worrying about hunger in East Africa, the people in the West are worrying about too much food. They have too much to eat. Too fat the gyms are making a killing while trying to reduce fat torsos.

Their mouths go to overdrive everywhere. Munch, chomp, chew! But they have large middle-classes, which mean food manufacturers pay attention to them.

So you get diet things - coke, yoghurt and chocolate and I think diet friends. They spend most of their times not eating than eating! They guys practically dig their graves with their teeth!

The wazungus are very picky eaters. I remember once the media said that fruit was good for you and everyone descended on fruit. Then someone talked about mad-cow diseases and the sale of beef crashed.

Now we have the scare of bird flu. The thing is a deadly killer. Several
people have been killed by the stuff – but hardly a tsunami number.

Some migrating birds from Europe are coming to Africa and if we don’t watch out they will infect out kukus and maybe kill most of us.

Well, I don’t know. If a guy got hold of his amore and offered her a charcoal grilled chicken. Will the bint say no?

Check the scenario. Some guy offers things to impress his mpenzi: “Hi baby, how about some grilled kuku and a lovely, drink. How does that sound?”

Ideally it would be: “Oh no! There is a danger of bird flu pandemic all over the world, you want to kill me or something?” she would scream and the guy will feel bad that he was planning to kill his woman.

But let’s be realistic. Here is a guy in Bongo, he has got his ‘pay’ from some exploiting company, then he goes to meet his baby: “Hi baby, how about a grilled chicken and a cold drink.”

She will hug him and say: “Oh you sexy man! How romantic you are! Throw in a couple of grilled bananas, to be washed down with a glass of chilled white wine.”

These things are a little exaggerated I think. Yes, there is HIV/AIDS. Education for the people will help tremendously. Education on the cheap, not seminars by people trying to be intelligent about it.

Bongo is ill-equipped to fight AIDS, and bird flu and even hunger. God loves Bongo. As a sage once said, when in dire straits always say – it could have been worse.

Now ask your lady or guy whether they would like grilled chicken and tell me if they will say no.





Tuesday, April 14, 2009

bongo gold rush?

Prospecting for gold in Kigosi, Tanzania

Tanzanian Royalty: No gold, where's the value? -Barron's

NEW YORK, April 12 (Reuters) - 

Tanzanian Royalty Exploration Corp (TNX.TO), a gold explorer has no revenue, no earnings and no proven gold and could be substantially overvalued, Barron's said.

Its shares trade at premium to peers, and its chief executive has been selling shares, Barron's said in its April 13 edition.

Chairman and CEO James Sinclair is famous for correctly forecasting gold prices and is very bullish on the metal, but he has been a steady seller of shares of his own gold-related company, Barron's said.

While Sinclair has had success predicting gold prices, the company does not have a good track record of finding gold, Barron's said.

The small-cap Canadian outfit has been looking for gold for a decade but none of its properties, all in Tanzania, have shown economically viable miner reserves, Barron's said.

If it were valued more like its rivals with similar cash and gold reserves, its shares should be priced substantially lower than the current $4.05 per share, Barron's said. 

----------------------

Tanzanian Royalty says Barron's report misleading

TORONTO, April 13 (Reuters) - 

Tanzanian Royalty Exploration Corp (TNX.TO) said on Monday that a recent article in the financial weekly Barron's mischaracterized the company, as its business model is essentially that of a royalty company.

The Barron's article in its April 13 edition said that Tanzanian Royalty, a gold explorer, has no revenue, no earnings and no proven gold. and could be substantially overvalued.

The report said shares of the company trade at a premium to its peers, and that its chief executive has been selling Tanzanian Royalty shares.

"In comparing the business structure of our company to others, it might have been more appropriate to select a company in the Royalty business including those with royalty-based gold production," CEO James Sinclair said in a statement.

The small-cap Canadian outfit has been looking for gold for a decade but none of its properties, all in Tanzania, have shown economically viable miner reserves, Barron's said.

If it were valued more like its rivals with similar cash and gold reserves, its shares should be priced substantially lower, Barron's said.

However, Tanzanian Royalty disputed a number of claims made in the Barron's article.

"To be a failed exploration company you need to be two things: First you must fail, and secondly you must be an exploration and development company.

 Seeing the majority of our properties fall under royalty agreements, this is hardly a fair categorization of the company by Barron's," Sinclair said. (Reporting by Euan Rocha; editing by Richard Chang) 

lady madonna


Madonna on the rocks

Pop star Madonna will not be allowed to adopt a second child from Malawi, the three-year girl Mercy James Chifundo, the Malawi’s High Court said last week.
 
The ruling will please campaigners who say that authorities have given the singer special treatment. Which is a load bull crap.

I know societies like to claim that we have equality before the law – but we all know that some among us are more equal than others. The fact is that Madonna is someone special. Not everyone can adopt a platoon of kids of all races. Just try to adopt one kid and see.
 
Earlier the Malawi government, which came under fire after Madonna adopted a 13-month-old, David Banda, had said that it would support a second adoption. Court registrar Ken Manda told reporters that Madonna’s bid to adopt Mercy had been rejected because the star was not a resident of Malawi. Which is simply hogwash?
 
The decision came as a surprise since Malawi’s Child Welfare Minister Patricia Kaliati had earlier come out in support of the singer’s application for the adoption of Mercy. Madonna has appealed against the ruling. Of course and I am sure under the pressure from the Malawi government the High Court will see ‘sense’ and let Mercy go.  
 
I am sure if Madonna had chosen to adopt kids of  Malawi High Court judges themselves instead of Mercy James, she would have been feted all over Malawi. It’s the usual game of hypocrisy. When an African kid is given a chance to live decently some hypocrites come up with high-faluting ideas about ‘child trafficking and human rights.
 
Mind you, this is in country which has a million plus orphans, half of whom have lost parents to AIDS. 
 
On her visit to the country, Madonna was photographed with the father of David Banda whom she had also adopted. The father, in a natty suit, probably bought by the star, was all teeth with joy. You could tell that he could not believe his luck.
 
In the Wazungu who are against Madonna’s move, you sense a sneaky whiff of racism. How come hardly a noise is raised the Wazungus adopt South American, Indian and far eastern orphans, while they foam in the mouth when a Black kid is about to be adopted?
 
I would have thought the case was of the star and the kids’ parents to decide. Last year Madonna spoke of being drawn to the people of Malawi, particularly the children.
 
Madonna first travelled to Malawi in 2006 while filming a documentary on it’s devastating poverty and AIDS crisis, and later decided to adopt a child there. 
 
The Malawi government had earlier said that Madonna had helped the country and was a worthy mother who was supporting over 25,000 orphans. Madonna’s charity, Raising Malawi, plans to build a multi-million dollar school for girls in Chikota village outside Lilongwe.
 
Are the courts going to tell us whom and what to like? I think Big Brother is really breathing down people’s neck! But we should cut the hypocrisy, Mercy James Chifundo was not about to be a victim of child trafficking!

waheshimiwa

Let’s vet top appointees

I hear in neighbouring Uganda, the Bunge has to checkout all presidential appointees. If they sense a disaster in a certain appointment, the MPs simply reject the president’s choice. This is just great!
 
To enhance the little democracy we have Bongo, we should have such a system, not today but yesterday.

Some appointments are so suspicious that they border on the ridiculous. I have seen on TV, some of our parliamentarians who can hardly read.

I am sure if you go closer to them you might find out that they can hardly write their own names. But you can bet that they can count their allowances and many of them are busy ‘getting’ those PhDs from the universities of Kusadikika. 
 
The trouble is, after elections there is the ‘thanks giving’ to all those who ‘helped’ the Big Man’s march to Ikulu, whose name we will keep classified for now, or they say,  ‘jina tunaliminya’.
 
The odd thing about politics is that, like the rest of us, even politicians have a past. Now real politicians are basically like chameleons. They can change their colour at a click of your fingers.

But most African politicians can’t escape from their past – a thing which can be quite embarrassing in the future, especially in a country with a healthy and reliable grapevine like ours.
 
I may be wrong to talk about African politicians. I should say ‘politicians’ per se. Former US President Bill Clinton admitted to have done things which were ‘inappropriate’ with one Monica Lewinsky, while in the White House.
 
Former British PM John Major and a Cabinet member Edwina Curry had a fling when he was in power. In a Cabinet reshuffle he forgot to reappoint her for a post and she went to the vibrant British press and sang like a canary, embarrassing the Bwana Mkubwa like hell.
 
I mean if we had a vetting by Parliament, some guys would simply disappear. Right now if you ask for someone’s qualifications you might end up with embarrassing answers. PD (President’s Buddy – Hons),
MwR (Mshikaji wa Rais - Upper Second Degree)
 
For example, ask a guy why he has the post he is in. You might get a reply like this: “I am the Mkuu’s buddy. He and I have been friends for years. My wife is also the friend of the First Lady.”
 
Ask a lady: “Sister, what makes you think that you qualify for this important and sensitive job?” An MP asks in the Bunge.
 
“Ah, I think I qualify because I am the President’s ka-chick. He is sooo-o-o sweet, isn’t he?” The lady tells the Bunge with a la-di-da voice.
 
Ask others guys, who are sailing through life clinging on their parents coat-tails: “I am my fathers’ son or daughter. I am planning to run for President because my father was a President.”

Yes, we might get such idiosyncrasies in the future.
 
As I said, we all have a past and that past can catch-up with us in the future! But the rest of us hate to be victims for one man’s or woman’s past.
 
mailto:
alusekelo@gmail.com


Thursday, April 9, 2009

ya kale ni dhahabu kweli?

Mzee Ndejembi

Wazee vingine hatukubaliani
Nadhani wengi miongoni mwetu, nina maana, wale ambao ni vijana, tulipokuwa tunakua tulifundishwa kuwaheshimu na kuwatii wazee wetu. Mara nyingi neno lao lilikuwa ni amri, yaani, kama sheria.
Kwa sisi vijana, hata kama pale ambapo tulikuwa hatukubaliani nao kabisa, tullikaa kimya tu. Na kutokana na hekima zao wazee wetu nyakati hizo, waliweza kujua kama wamekubaliwa ama wamekataliwa.
Juzi wazee wanne waliokuwa katika CCM zamani, wakiongozwa na Mzee Pancras Ndejembi, waliita waandishi na kutuambia jinsi wanavyoona wao kuwa nchi iendeshwe.
Wazee hawataki Rais Kikwete apingwe katika uchaguzi wa mwaka 2010. Sawa kabisa! “Utaratibu wetu ndani ya chama unafahamika; Mwinyi tulimpa miaka kumi, Mkapa naye vile vile, lipi baya alilofanya Kikwete hata tumnyime asiendelee kwa kipindi kingine?” alihoji Mzee Ndejembi.
Ni haki yao. Lakini wakati wazee, ambao tunategemea wamejaliwa na hekima, wakisema hivyo nao wajue kuwa na sisi wananchi wengine wa Tanzania, tuna haki yetu vile vile.
Sijui wazee wamesahau kuwa kuna Katiba? Kwa hoja ile ile ya kuheshimu Katiba yetu inayotamka wazi kabisa kuhusu haki ya kupiga kura au kupigiwa kura kwa kila raia wa Tanzania, ukiwa katika CCM au hupo, una haki hiyo.
Sasa wazee wanapoanza kuzungumza kuhusu ‘utaratibu wetu’ miye naona kama vile wanataka kuwatisha wana CCM wenye nia ya kugombea cheo hicho.
Lakini, kuwania kiti chochote kile, ni haki ya kila mwananchi. Na wazee wangetusaidia sana kama wangeshikilia kuwa Katiba ifuatwe neno kwa neno, na siyo kusema mambo yaendelee kama ‘enzi zetu’.
Kwa heshima na taadhima, sharti tuwaambie wazee wetu kwamba wanapswa kutambua kuwa hizi ni nyakati zingine. Enzi zao, ‘Enzi za Mwalimu’, kuwa kiongozi katika CCM lilikuwa ni jambo la kujivunia na kuheshimika.
Leo je?
Yaani, wazee wanataka kutuambia mikiki iliyokikumba Chama chao ni uongo? Kama ni hivyo, basi Watanzania tutakuwa wanafiki wa kutisha. Inabidi tuwaeleze wazee wetu, wajue kuwa sasa wananchi tumefanywa mafala na mibwege ya kutupa. Ila, wakati umefika wa kusema kuwa hatutakubali kuendelea kupuuzwa namna hii!
Hata vijana na makada wao wa chama wamechoka na wanakerwa sana. Mbunge wa Kishapu (CCM), Fred Mpendazoe, amesema kuwa ni lazima wananchi wote, bila kujali itikadi zao, washikamane kupambana na mafisadi ambao alisema ndio wanaoitafuna nchi peke yao.
Mpendazoe amesema wazi-wazi kwamba, wananchi hawataielewa serikali yao iwapo haitawachukulia hatua wamiliki wa kampuni ya Kagoda Agricultural Limited inayotajwa kuwa imechota mamilioni ya fedha kutoka Akaunti ya Madeni ya Nje (EPA) ilyokuwa ndani ya Benki Kuu ya Tanzania, na kashfa nyinginezo.
Wazee wameonyesha kukerwa na tuhuma za ufisadi zinazoelekezwa kwa baadhi ya wana CCM wenzao. Sasa wazee wetu wanataka nini? Tujifanye kuwa huo siyo ukweli bali ndoto za mwendawazimu tu?
Nao akina Mpendanzoe na makada wenzake kadhaa katika CCM wameonyesha kukerwa na tabia za kuendelea kuwakumbatia watuhumiwa wa ufisadi wakiwemo na wizi wa fedha za EPA.
“Kuna methali ya Kisambaa isemayo: Ukitaka kuepukana na nzi, tupa mbali kibudu. Hii ina maana kwamba ukitaka kuepukana na harufu chafu, using’ng’anie mzoga,” alisema Mpendazoe.
Labda wengine wangemuuliza Mbunge huyo: Je, kama wewe ni fisi, kweli utaucha mzoga huo? Kwa fisi, kwake kila kitu anaona mambo poa tu!

Salaam toka kwa Nasibu

Vipi Mazee,
Hongera kwa kuanzisha blog. Nimeitembelea na ninaona sasa utakuwa na kontakti moja kwa moja na wasomaji wako.
Hiyo italeta changamoto kwa dizaini mpya.
Kazia nyuzi hapo hapo mpaka gitaa lilie! I would like to give some suggestions if you think that is ok.
Wako,
Nasibu Mwanukuzi
Webmaster/CEO
Kongoi Productions

adam lusekelo foundation floated

Hi Adam,
I like your style, but what is your mission?
Would you mind starting The Adam Lusekelo Foundation so that you canbetter mobilize people to take action on all these grievances you arewriting about?
Siku njema
Fredrick

old is gold?



The ‘enzi za Mwalimu’ factor


In human conflict when one part is loosing men more than they can recruit into the ranks, they usually increase the conscription age.


Men as old and in their fifties are pressed into armed service. It is called dad’s army. There is an emergency on and you need every hand to help.


It seems the ruling CCM is crisis and they have recruited a dad’s army to help out. Five veteran CCM leaders, headed by former CCM chairman for Dodoma, Mzee Pancras Ndejembi on Sunday strongly reprimanded CCM dogodogos to stop even thinking of challenging the Prez, Jack Mrisho for the re-election of the presidency come 2010.


According to this dad’s army everything is squeaky clean within the CCM. The wazee also told the young guys (dogodogo) to stop pointing fingers and recoil from the stink within the CCM. In short the dogodogo should wear smiles while facing the stench. In the days of dad’s army ‘enzi za Mwalimu’ everything was okay. Dad’s army also roundly condemned rebuke fellow party members for attacking scandal-plagued politicians.


Quite. But dad’s army should know that in the days of Mwalimu, party members did not steal public monies like there is no tomorrow as it is now.


And, worse, there seems to be no punishment, but a tarting up of the whole farce! You just cannot spray perfume on rot. The stench of rot will always seep through.


In our cultures younger Africans usually don’t speak back to the older members of society, however much they have goofed. But now it seems the younger members have decided not to take such blamed sitting down. One of the dogodogos in the CCM, Fred Pendanzoe has decided to break the law of ‘omerta’ – the mafia’s law of silence.


The Kishapu legislator has what most people want to hear. He has called for the purging of the ruling party and cadres implicated in various recent corruption scandals, as part of a wider crackdown on high-level graft in the country.


I doubt if the dad’s army will find those words very romantic and sexy. The veteran leaders have waved warning fingers on ruling party MPs who have developed tendency to publicly speak out against prominent CCM public leaders facing serious sleaze allegations.


"My fellow countrymen, I urge you to unite in this fight against corruption. We have nothing to lose, except our poverty," said Mpendazoe.


"Just a few Tanzanians are enjoying the wealth of this nation," he added and in the process divulging a state secret!


He emphasized that CCM leaders plagued by sleaze allegations should be kicked out of the ruling party’s ranks, for the good of the party itself.


Mpendazoe further warned that the government could face a public backlash of unanticipated proportions if political heavyweights behind the infamous Kagoda Agriculture Limited company are allowed to go scot-free for their prominent role in the Bank of Tanzania external payment arrears (EPA) looting scandal.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The ‘enzi za Mwalimu’ factor
In human conflict when one part is loosing men more than they can recruit into the ranks, they usually increase the conscription age. Men as old and in their fifties are pressed into armed service. It is called dad’s army. There is an emergency on and you need every hand to help.

It seems the ruling CCM is crisis and they have recruited a dad’s army to help out. Five veteran CCM leaders, headed by former CCM chairman for Dodoma, Mzee Pancras Ndejembi on Sunday strongly reprimanded CCM dogodogos to stop even thinking of challenging the Prez, Jack Mrisho for the re-election of the presidency come 2010.

According to this dad’s army everything is squeaky clean within the CCM. The wazee also told the young guys (dogodogo) to stop pointing fingers and recoil from the stink within the CCM. In short the dogodogo should wear smiles while facing the stench. In the days of dad’s army ‘enzi za Mwalimu’ everything was okay. Dad’s army also roundly condemned rebuke fellow party members for attacking scandal-plagued politicians.

Quite. But dad’s army should know that in the days of Mwalimu, party members did not steal public monies like there is no tomorrow as it is now. And, worse, there seems to be no punishment, but a tarting up of the whole farce! You just cannot spray perfume on rot. The stench of rot will always seep through.

In our cultures younger Africans usually don’t speak back to the older members of society, however much they have goofed. But now it seems the younger members have decided not to take such blamed sitting down. One of the dogodogos in the CCM, Fred Pendanzoe has decided to break the law of ‘omerta’ – the mafia’s law of silence.

The Kishapu legislator has what most people want to hear. He has called for the purging of the ruling party and cadres implicated in various recent corruption scandals, as part of a wider crackdown on high-level graft in the country.

I doubt if the dad’s army will find those words very romantic and sexy. The veteran leaders have waved warning fingers on ruling party MPs who have developed tendency to publicly speak out against prominent CCM public leaders facing serious sleaze allegations.

“My fellow countrymen, I urge you to unite in this fight against corruption. We have nothing to lose, except our poverty,” said Mpendazoe.
“Just a few Tanzanians are enjoying the wealth of this nation,” he added and in the process divulging a state secret!

He emphasized that CCM leaders plagued by sleaze allegations should be kicked out of the ruling party’s ranks, for the good of the party itself.

Mpendazoe further warned that the government could face a public backlash of unanticipated proportions if political heavyweights behind the infamous Kagoda Agriculture Limited company are allowed to go scot-free for their prominent role in the Bank of Tanzania external payment arrears (EPA) looting scandal.