Wednesday, April 22, 2009

from zenj with luv

Creative accounting in Zenj 
The pay is not the greatest in Zenj, The pay is not the greatest in all Bongo. Unless, of course, you are a politician in the winning party.
Which is why people most people have decided to 'eat’ using their offices. I remember a colleague (now doing time in jail) decided to  'kill’ his father three times before we found out his tricks.
Some 22 accountants in Zenj also decided to be creative and earn themselves some more dosh. The Zanzibari government painfully found out that the guys siphoned off a billion shillings. They paid ghost workers 
and promptly pocketed the money themselves.
Which makes sense to me. How do I starve when millions pass through my hands everyday?  You become, you know, creative.
Personally I would never have made a decent accountant. I would have been in jail ages ago.  Besides, I hate the power thing. I believe that accountants are sub-consciously dictators and sadists. Just look at their faces when they tell you that your cheque is not ready yet.
I mean it! Look at the sadistic glee your accountant wears on his or her face when they tell you that your money is not ready yet. You wonder if the guy is about to get an orgasm or something.
Over the years societies realised that accountants had this ‘thing’ about them. They created another department – the audit section.  Many an accountant have ended up in the lam. It’s not even a newsworthy story when an accountant is jailed.
Rock star, Sting, had 3.5 million pounds (7 billion) siphoned off by his accountant. Sting is a multi-millionaire. He never felt the sting of his accountant ‘eating’ his money. It was the auditors who found that out. The accounting thief
Partly the problem in Zenj is in names. Do you know that Haji Salum Haji and Salum Haji Salum are two different persons? They are not even related.
Okay try this: Iddi Pandu Iddi and  Pandu Iddi Pandu. Not related. They don’t even know each other. Jecha Haji Jecha and Hajji Jecha Haji are two different geezers. An auditor’s nightmare.
So the accountants in Isles got busy and creative. They discovered 1,400 Salum Haji Salums and lived it up – maybe acquiring more wives in the process (It’s s an African thing). Luckily they got nabbed.

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