Friday, April 3, 2009

mo money!

Heavy weight MP Zitto

MPs want more! Oliver Twist?

The MPs met at Ubungo, I hear. Then they sat there and mouthed a load of hot air. They want more money. They want the tax-payers to pay for their house girls,drivers, chicks, concubines and sundry.

I support them. They should be getting tonnes of money, the MPs, I mean. I suggest that the government pay our legislators 20 million a month.

That is including a free shangingi, a free wife or husband, a free house (at least one-storey high), another free four-wheel Japanese car. Throw in a mercedes. Free, of course.

Oh, I was forgetting – MPs should get free suits as well. Most of them dress horribly. They will also get free after-shaves and colognes. The guys want free things from the Tanzanian tax payers. Cool.

It doesn’t bother me none. MPs are God’s greatest gift to Tanzanians. They are doing us a great favour by snoozing for five years in Dodoma. It is hard work, I tell you. If you are lucky you might end up being appointed as some minister.

How can you sleep for five years and get 30 million for your troubles with sleep? You need sleeping pills, booze and a steady flow of chicks!

So I sincerely support the MPs for demanding more money. I mean there are some counter-revolutionaries, like doctors. Who are they to demand 1.2 million bagaz? Saving lives is not that important. Besides, this is just a call of duty (Mwito).

But being an MP is really hard work. You’ve got to visit your witch-doctors regularly, talk to people with smelly mouths, shake with hands your mother would swoon if she sees you. And then after that get paid 2 million a month. That’s work!

But with doctors that is easy. All you have to do is stick a syringe on some butt.

So the government should seriously take into consideration their need for money. Maybe make it 50 million a month. We, the tax-payers will get the money going.

Tanzanians are beyond outrage anyway! They are rammed down with crap called IPTL and they shut up. They face ‘investors’ from Thailand and China. These guys take the jobs of local mechanics. Bongo shuts up anyway.

Rip-off deals in mining. Our glorious government keeps quiet, anyway. They concentrate on parades. That, and the sound of national anthem gives the rulers a real buzz.

But when it comes to your forests (which attract rain) being raped by ‘investors’ – you do have nothing to say. Since the people of Bongo are beyond outrage they should give MPs more money. They are the ones who know how to spend it. Doctors can go to hell!


Anonymous said...

Adam, wacha hizo mwanawani!! Hata ungekuwa wewe ingekuwa hivyo hivyo. Nakumbuka miaka ilee, kama siyo wewe basi huenda ni youe mdada chemi-che-ponda aliandika atiko moja kwenye sane niuuzzz! Ilikuwa ka kataito 'mii end dhe atha felo'. Yaani Me and the other Fellow. Ilikuwa ikisema eti, when the other fellow breaks a cup or a plate - it is because he/she is careless. When I do the same - you know, an accident can not be avoided! Ha haaa! The article went on to say, 'when the other fellow catches gonnorhoeae (at that time it was the dreadful and worst venereal disease ever known) - it is because he/she is a prostitute. But when I do, you know - Gonorhoeae is very common nowadays, just like mafua'.

We have to leave these guys as they are. They are unreachable. We can make noise and they have all the machineries to silence us. I might sound stupid but that is the reality.

Unakumbuka siku zile ulipoanza kuunguruma na state ikakuviktimaiizz! Bora upate mchicha wako na kulala saa mbili usiku, na watoto waende shule mwanangu!


Anonymous said...

Adam Lusekelo keep doing your thing man. Keep digging up the issues.

There are many people who enjoy your writing style and view points.