Wednesday, April 22, 2009

of male and female fish (or fishes?)

Only male fish should be harvested?

One thing I love about our Bunge is that it can be vastly entertaining. Apart from the bum numbing speeches you hear some gems of humour. 

Bum-numbing speeches because you get the impression what some honourables don’t know what they are talking about.
Y’see, Bongo have come to believe that guys wearing some mostly frayed and out of fashion suits are vastly intelligent than the rest of the wananchi. 

Which is nonsense, of course. Anyone, at least most of us can wear suits. What with the mtumba culture we have embraced? 

But does that make you clever? An emphatic no! I’ll tell you what – what is the biggest thing con-men do when they want to make a kill. 

They wear natty clothes and are usually armed with smart-looking briefcases.
Now that takes you in and you dip you hand, take out your wallet, gladly part with your hard gained moola.  But things are changing. 

If I see some bore droning on and on about what his or her ministry is going to do, or rather not do, to the people of Bongo, I stab my TV remote control for better entertainment. 
You know the guys are simply performing for the cameras. TV is a politician’s oxygen. Without it he is dead. No wonder they try as much as possible to compromise the press. And we oblige. Njaa. 

And which is why every biggie has started his press unit – stories and pictures of which are forcefully rammed down the throats of the conventional press. 
 But, as I said earlier the honourables can be funny. One suggested that the only way to increase fish stocks in our lakes and rivers is to catch only male fish. Which is brilliant!
The remaining male fish will be having a ball – having harems of female fish. You can imagine the fight of the female fish over a male salmon (Mbasa) in Lake Nyasa, or the migiebuka in Lake Tanganyika, or tilapia in Lake Vicky. 

But is the government ready to call the fish riot police to bring peace to furious female fish fighting over the few remaining male fish?
And, try telling that to a fisherman in, say, Lake Nyasa. 

The fish police will stop him and:  "Hey how many fish, what’s your catch there?"

"Twenty sir. Six males and fourteen females." The fisherman will reply.

"I am afraid you have to throw the females back to the lake. That’s government regulation".

"But sir, that is ruination! I have a family".

"Orders are orders! Female fish chicks will have to be thrown back to the lake. We need plenty of fish babies". the fish police, probably a sergeant, will bark

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