Does Prez Kikwete like hamburgers?

The internet has been white hot with howls of revulsion, from Tanzanians protesting on Prez, Jack Mrisho’s latest trip to the US of A. Of course he was accompanied by a posse of 40 guys, who ate, drank and made merry on his name. Kiliofu!

The job of accompanying the prez, is becoming a very lucrative one, if you ask me. Some $300 dollars a day for each of the hangers-on and other assorted officials come to $12,000 a day. Multiply that with 8 days, then you get a hefty $94,000 splashed on this trip. Knowing how these trips work, I would easily write off $500,000 on this latest shopping trip.

The prez also met the world’s most powerful man, Barack O, got some award on health, shook Secretary of State, Hillary’ Clinton’s hand and spoke to Tanzanians in LA. Lucky geezers, those Tanzanians in the US of A. they have been the president’s audience every time (and not once or twice) the president visited the States. To the chagrin of Tanzanians in Tanzania.

Tanzanians at home are said to be green with envy. They can’t see him at home because the president is busy traveling. But now it’s getting increasingly clear that if the wananchi want to see their president they will have to travel to the US of A. This will be at their own expense and no $300 dollars a day will be given to them.

Those grumbling against our benevolent president say the medical award could easily and much less expensively have been picked up by the minister of health.

But, that idea is quickly shot down by the battalion sized delegation which accompanied him. Tanzania has benefited tremendously from the visit. The Prez was the first African ruler to have a sniff at Barack O’s after-shave. They also looked good in pictures. Our sources did not say whether they discussed hamburgers or Kentuky chicken.

It is said that the battalion sized entourage have just benefited handsomely when the prez went for a tour in Araby only a month ago. The grapevine in Dar says nearly all of them bought brand new cars and mountains of goods which were imported gratis. Kiliofu!

It’s a great job being part of the posse. If a guy is going to travel around for 20 days of every month, then that is great money. If you can import and flog off anything you want after buying it abroad, then long live the president!

Tanzanians in the net have been asking – just where does the money for the jet-setting life comes from? For the travels are getting to be an intolerable and expensive joke.

Or, maybe critics are getting it all wrong. Maybe it is okay for primary schools to go without toilets and books as long as there is money to finance the travels of the mkuu and his gravy train. Who knows?

Some critics have been cheeky. They say it’s about time to change and honour the president’s penchant for the US of A. Some have suggested that he be called Amerigo in honour of the man who discovered and charted the mapping of the USA – Amerigo Vespucci.

But the name President Amerigo Mrisho Kikwete, just doesn’t sound right! Some have called him Vasco Da Gama. Which again doesn’t sound right? Vasco Da Gama sailed from Portugal to India to look for spices. What is the Tanzanian president constantly looking for, in the USA? Maybe he likes hamburgers.

If that’s the case then Bongo ought to talk to McDonalds to produce Big-Macs in Tanzania. One kiosk will be stationed at Ikulu in Dar, another one in Dodoma, one in Msata where the prez is expected to retire, when he retires. Big Macs should also be freely available in the presidential jet. The prez, should also be asked if he likes Kentuky chicken.

Some observers have said that maybe the mkuu simply likes to fly. They have called him the ‘Aviator’. Which is also alright. We could ask Americans to build the Tanzanian equivalent of Air Force One.

A flying Ikulu which will be constantly flying the skies of Tanzania and maybe he could also institute a minor cabinet re-shuffle in which he would appoint himself minister of foreign affairs!