Tuesday, May 5, 2009

U-hanga wanaume Kenya

Kenyan women to strike?

The tale from Kenya is that the mademu in Kenya will deny their men folk conjugal rights to protest their dilly-dallying in the political process there. As neighbors we can only worry that Kenyans might go back to their nasty ways of butchering each other like they did last year. More than 1,500 died and the physical and psychological wounds are still fresh.

For certain Raila Odinga’s wife, Oda Idinga has agreed that withholding the joys of sex from their husbands for seven days could help pressure Kenyan politicians to speed up solving Kenya’s political troubles.

But politicians quickly forget that. It’s only their passion for power which matters. So the women have decided to inflict a penalty – no sex for seven days! The question is – will they succeed?

Personally I doubt it. Studies have shown that women are even more prone to power abuse than men. Power is sexy, you know. It equals getting money, legally and mostly illegally. But it’s money. Human beings find that very sexy.

So the question of Mzee Mwai Kibaki suffering from u-hunger is out. If Mama Kibaki goes on strike I am sure there are thousands of other Kenyan young bints who will gladly share state house bedroom with mzee.

The same goes for Premier Raila Odinga. I am sure there are thousands of Luo chicks who would love to replace Mama Oda Odinga. I say Luo women, because our neighbors are still hot about the ‘tribe’ thing. Ethnicity. Who wouldn’t want to be the first lady? So sexually starving Kenyan men simply won’t work.

Some have openly wondered if the Tanzanian fisadis should be starved sexually. That in a weeks time the fisadis will be suffering from acute cases of u-hunger and they will beg the Tanzanian people for mercy. That they will return the money in exchange of a chance to have a bonk.

Again, that is nonsense. As I said, money is extremely sexy. So once it is known that fisadis have taken tonnes of money from EPA, Kagoda, Tangold, Radar rip-off and other cases of grand theft (without punishment) the women, and some men, will be stalking them day and night.

Steal money and to put the icing on the cake nothing happens to you. You will still be called mheshimiwa thief and the chicks will be swooning before you with desire. What more can a man want? I always maintain that crime pays in Bongo.

We already have cases of fisadi guys who has been bonking chicks by the truck load and then buy them Rav4s per fling. I hear Toyota motors have sent these fisadis notes of congratulations for boosting the sales of their cars in Tanzania.

I have talked to a lot of women who have said, quite cynically, that a car for a sexual fling is worth it. “Who will know?” asked young lass with a cocky look on her face.

Indeed, who will know? You cannot tell. But you definitely can see her fancy car. Appearances are important to some feeble minded individuals.

In fact the thing to worry here is that the fisadis might die of exhaustion. It’s in their character. They want all the monies for themselves. So they will definitely want all the chicks for themselves. That could claim a lot of casualties. The fisadis may die of overdoing things.

So a few conscientious women might go on strike to teach the men a lesson. But thousands others will be hovering on the background, just waiting for a chance to partake in the feasting of the ill-gotten gains.

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