Friday, May 29, 2009

Cheating spouses–things to come

Technology is closing in on those cheating. First it was the mini-microphone. You could bug some room and hear exactly what is going on - the huffs and puffs of two consenting adults at the height of passion. Actually some people like to hear those noises. It turns them on.

Now technology is getting better. You can actually see couples going at it even for more than an hour. Some guys, in fact most guys, like porno. I don’t. Since I know that is not real. They are just faking it.

Porn a multi-billion dollar industry. We have a big industry in porn in Bongo. It’s capitals are called Kinondoni, Ilala and Sinza. The CD’s have decided to supplement their incomes with porn.

Can be used for political purposes as well. Malasian Heath Minister Chua Soi Lek was having fun with a chick in some hotel in Kuala Lumpur. Or so he thought.

But some cheeky guys had installed Close Circuit Television cameras in the room he was having fun with his chick (not his wife, of course). The cheeky guys then made numerous DVDs of the minister and his mistress showing each other their art of sex. One DVD was an hour long of sustained activity. One wonders if he used Viagra.

Before he knew it the DVD was shown on TV stations, and worse, the cheeky guys started circulating it all over the country. They also widely distributed it in Johor, his home state.

The minister admitted that the guy who was bonking with a chick was himself. “I am the man in the tape. The girl is a personal friend”

He apologised to the prime minister and his family. “Who did this is not important. What is most important is my wife and my children have accepted my apology.”

I don’t know about that. Thai women are famous for revenge. One caught her man seeing another woman. She waited for him to sleep and she promptly cut off his, you know, naughty part off and threw it in the toilet.

Fortunately the guy had a presence of mind amid terrible pain. He grabbed his shlong and rushed of to the hospital, where they successfully reattached it.

Another guy was doing the hanky-panky when his wife heard about it. He was not so fortunate. She waited for him to start snoring his head off after plying him with booze. She promptly cut it off and attached it to a big balloon which floated to the heavens. They never found it.

So I would advise that Malasian Heath Minister that though he says his wife has forgiven him –still he should sleep with one eye open. One never knows with wives!

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