1.5m Kenyan men thumped by their wives

This is definitely an EAC matter. After the common market talks going on it now emerges that the aggressive Kenyan men are usually being thumped dizzy by their wives.

A report a lobby group championing the rights of men has revealed that more than 1.5 million ‘nyayo’ men in Kenya were everyday victims of domestic violence. In cases of reversed roles, the men are made to cook, wash clothes, clean the house and utensils and baby-sit.

Wal-l-lahi, I don’t believe that. It just can’t happen to the macho Kenyan men. East Africans, at least Tanzanians are used to see Kenyans trying to ride rough shod over the rest of us. When Kenyan politicians (Kenyan men) felt that they could break the East African Community, that had to be so.

When they wanted it back. It also had to be so. They even planned to fast-track the marriage of East Africa and make Bongo Kenya’s southern region. When Tanzania demurred, the macho men of Kenya responded with threats and insults. Tough guys those Kenyan men.

But the report by the Maendeleo Ya Wanaume Organisation of Kenya has revealed that some of the husbands in Kenya were even raped by their wives and inflicted with bodily injuries besides being insulted. Ye-woo-mi!

While Kenyan men are talking tough in those EAC meetings they usually are cowed, hen-pecked guys at home. They also find it difficult to report to the authorities for fear of social ridicule. (Kafuliwa na mkewe!)

So, you might meet Mr. Ojwang in downtown Nairobi. “Say, Ojwang, that looks like a nasty black eye there. What happened?”

“I had a drink too many and was hit by the door.” Ojwang explains. So you give him a ‘pole sana’ although you quietly wonder how doors could be so accurate. Bang on the eye or the snout!

According to the survey, most of those affected were newly weds and those in old marriages. The research found out that men had little say on issues concerning conjugal rights because women were the ones who determined when and how they should make love. For example a Mr. Kinyanjui might find his wife’s ‘Day Order” on his pillow saying; “Ndaring. You are to work until 6 in the evening. Dinner will be served at 7.30. Conjugal proceedings will commence at 9 p.m. sharp and it will strictly be in the missionary position. No hard breathing! Your Ndaring wife. Nyambui”

The Kikuyu’s in Kenya cannot say ‘darling’. They say ‘ndaring’. Just like the Wahaya cannot say ‘ng’ombe’. They say ngombe. But that is another story.

Back to the research. The groups’ chairman, Ndiritu Njoka has said the victims of violence are physically abused in their bedrooms at night and kicked out of the house. The men ended up sleeping in the sitting rooms, bars and cars. Big deal!

The fellow men I have talked to in Dar think that it all has something to do with the wallet. If she is holding the wallet, then help you God. She will definitely ‘marry’ the man she wants and some men have no choice but submit to becoming kept men. That can be hell. And to be raped by one’s wife is also hell on earth. Although I find it hard to imagine a man being raped. You just cannot force the man’s hydraulic system to work!

You can’t lie to her that you have a head-ache, or a muscle pull down there. I pity those guys. The Tanzania Media Women Association (TAMWA) should check out (I am sure we have some) whether we have such relationships in Bongo and the extent of the terrifying story.