Friday, July 31, 2009

Ka-chick and the Afande in court

Last Wednesday the former police boss, Omar Mahita, was hauled before the courts by his former house help, Rehema Shabani. She claims that Mzee demanded more than household duties from her. You know, other more pleasurable, house duties.

Rehema claims as a result of their pleasurable and romantic encounter the two were blessed with a lovely baby boy. She even surrendered the photo of the kid to the press. I saw the photo. The boy looks like, well, a former inspector-general of the Tanzanian police, I once new.

But ignore that. Looks can be very deceptive. I once had a chick with a crush on me because she claimed that I looked like Eddie Murphy. I angrily reversed that and told her she might say that Eddie Murphy looked like me and, no, we are not related. Eddie Murphy Mwakang’ata? Adam Lusekelo Murphy? It just doesn’t sound right!

Anyway, back to former police boss, Omar Mahita. Trouble is Braza Mahita has allegedly refused to support the upbringing of the boy. He has also sworn that the kid is not his. So the case has landed in the courts.

Media hacks have been kicked out from attending the proceedings. Magistrate Suzan Kihawa who has taken the case from Ms Ngwawasya has barred the press and ordered that it be heard in camera. So she ordered hacks to booted out.

This border on the ludicrous. Why kick the media out? Because it evolves around the alleged indescresssions of a former police chief? The case is not about police chief bonking their house girls here. A lot of ‘honorable’ guys have for ages been seeking solace in house helps.

I mean, they are women! I know it can be humiliating to start pawing a girl from the hinterland who a couple of months ago, came with serious acne and was as mshamba as they come. She would put your pair of shoes in the fridge and place your ice-bucket in the wardrobe.

Then, after decent nutrition offered by the family she turns into a beautiful African woman. Then she turns into a super seductress. After your visit to the watering hall, she comes and serves you dinner with wearing only one khanga.

The wife, who has been looking like a toad lately, is out to some seminar. And we know most men – when they drink, their minds go straight south of the border – to their crotches! Nine months later you get bouncy baby.

No man can adopt the moral high ground in that. Trouble comes with the upkeep. I know a judge who tried to dilly-dally with that department. The partner simply sneaked to the chambers and waited for the Bwana Mkubwa to come out of court, with his fancy robes and circumstance.

Then she ran to him, dumped the baby into his arms and ran off. Some woman, you would say! He stood there, looking very awkward, with baby on his arms.

Anyway with the latest technology I don’t see any problem. Why doesn’t the magistrate order Braza Mahita and his former house help, Rehema Shabani, to submit to a DNA test? That will save the courts from wasting the republic’s time.That way we will know for sure if the afande is going to pay the bills or not.

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