Friday, September 11, 2009

Govt to build pyramids in Dodoma

Okay, we know that human beings are all equal – or rather, are supposed to be equal. But over ages humanoids have come to realize that some human beings are more equal than others.

Now we are sure about that. Even in death there are others who are more equal than the rest of us. Those are the rulers of Tanzania. From now on the rulers will be dying in style.

Tanzania is to become the first East African country to build pyramids as official resting places for deceased and other great Tanzanians who have shaped the nations history.

Presently the government is looking for an international firm to provide a detailed design for a state-of-the-art cemetery at Iyumbu village in Tanzania’s unbuilt capital of Dodoma.

Sources say that Tanzania’s supplier-in-chief, Sailesh Vithlani, has shown vigorous interest to supply the super pyramid for the rulers. Sailesh Vilthani is of the radar rip-off repute.

He could use his vast experience to supply the entire TPDF with equipment and grease civil servants palms to get the DTRs grave contract. He could qualify as grave-digger-in-chief. Payment will be in dollars at an account in Switzerland.

The government has acquired 120 hectares of land for the purpose and the Prez, Jakaya has given the nod for the establishment of Dead Tanzanian Rulers burial (DTRs) Act.

The graveyard will take into account the religious customs of Muslims, Christians and others. For example, dead former leaders will be asked if they would prefer their graves to be air-conditioned or not, before they are buried.

The DTRs will also be supplied for the comforts of death while in their graves, including their conjugal rights, in the hereafter. Piped classical music will be connected to every grave

It is said that some of the rulers have been casting some envious eyes at the pharaohs of Egypt. They would also prefer to be mummified for posterity.

The rulers, who preferred anonymity, said that, like Egypt’s pyramids of Giza in Egypt, Tanzania could have the pyramids of Dodoma. In 4,000 years’ time Dodoma could be a bustling pyramid site which will attract millions of tourists. The DTRs will be comfortably waiting to be discovered by the archeologists of the day – just like the pharaohs.

Critics have pooh-poohed the whole idea as a waste of time and resources. “The biggest problem could be getting those dead Tanzanian leaders in the first place. With dead rulers, it’s fine. But I am not so sure about dead Tanzanian leaders.” said an analyst.

He said another problem could be who will make it to the comforts of the pyramids of Dodoma. “The monied traders have bribed and compromised their way into ruling party. It now belongs to them. They might also sneak into the pyramids of Dodoma and pretend that they qualify to be buried there as EPA heroes. In Tanzania anything is possible.” Said an observer.

1 comment:

Jiang said...

This is yet another reason we should all thrive to become great Tanzanian's... the imagination of my mummified body being discovered by archeologist 5,000 years to come further pushes me to become the first Tanzanian female president!