Being gentlemanly with crooks

“It was pure forgery. It is a criminal offence according to the law these people should have been arraigned. I am not satisfied with how the president handled the issue. We cannot run this country with double standards!”

Not me speaking – lest I be called a trouble-maker. It none other than Dr.Wilbrod Slaa, the Chadema, Secretary-General. “You can’t take to court someone who has stolen just Sh 5,000 and let free those stealing billions from our banks. These are double standards!” Dr Slaa went on bitterly.

But I have a word for him. You see, there are some people, especially within the ranks of the rulers of this country, who simply don’t look good in being behind bars.

These guys live in air-conditioned homes, wear natty suits, work in air-conditioned offices, are driven in air-conditioned cars and even have air-conditioned friends in high places. So they are used to air-conditioning.

Now according to reasoning in high places these air-conditioned unarmed robbers cannot go to jail. This is because Segerea remand prison or any other jail in Bongo do not have air-conditioning.

Also our unarmed crooks who have raided the BoT also tend to smell great. They use the best colognes and after shaves money can buy. According the thought at the top, you just cannot throw those air-conditioned crooks to mix with the stinking wretched of the earth who are manning our prisons. Donors will simply not like it.

Dr Slaa should know that jails are for crooks! And those guys who did in billions are…er, well, air-conditioned crooks. Now there is a difference there, I hasten to add. It is not that they have not been punished.

You see the air-conditioned gentlemen who robbed BoT have been punished real badly. For one, they have been given crippling punishment like being forced to surrender their passports. This means they will not be flying abroad to go and buy their natty suits and perfumes.

Another punishment is that their air-conditioned houses and cars have been seized. The air-conditioned crooks are painfully wincing under the tough punishment meted by our no-nonsense government.
The air-conditioned crooks have been banned from riding air conditioned cars. They have also been banned from spraying perfume to their well shaven faces.

Another punishment is that the crooks have been banned from socialising with their air-conditioned friends.

So Dr Slaa should know that punishment is punishment. If you don’t know anybody and you steal Sh5,000, you go straight to Segerea remand jail.

If you steal billions and have air-conditioned friends at the top, then our government comes in heavily and punishes you. No air-conditioned cars and no using to your using your passport to go shopping abroad! Very strict, our government is.