Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The nasty generation gap!

I was busy minding my own business the other day, listening to civilised music which makes the heart relax. You get that when you enjoy some sane music, be it in love, broken hearts and just life in general. It felt good.

That is, until when my cell-phone rang. It was some niece, a friend’s daughter, inviting me to her 18th birthday. I couldn’t say no to the little girl I have slowly but surely watched her grow. I couldn’t say no to a damsel in distress.

The week passed before you could say ‘party’. I dressed like any middle-aged man who is worth his age. No suit, of course! I hate suits because they have lately been the first line of defence for con-men. I tend to be very wary of those guys stuffed in suits who simply want to make a statement – mostly a false one - to the rest of us.

My niece was delighted to see me. I am popular with both my nephews and nieces. Could be because I am a modern day uncle and I can be reasonably permissive to the new kids in the block. Kizazi kijacho.

Bottle of booze were secretly exchanging hands amongst the young guys. I looked the other way, of course. Sometimes you have pretend that you are not there.

I watched the youth having fun. Their dress was hideous – at least to me. The chicks in impossibly tight minis which they kept pulling down to their knees. The minis promptly went to their original ridiculously revealing ‘thighland’.

The young men had these jeans which they wore below their waists. If you watched their behinds you would have thought there was pooh held in there. But they told me that was fashion.

Cool. Uncle kept quiet and watched the uncles have fun. There was decent music – so far. But it seemed the niece wanted to warm things up a bit more. Suddenly the sound system exploded and there was this singer shouting ‘Do me! Do me! Do me and I will do you!’

Suddenly I found this interest in my nails. I urgently needed a manicure. I also pretended not to hear the ‘Do me!’ pornographic hit.I never removed my gaze from my nails. The uncles were squealing with delight and shouting ‘Do me!

Thankfully the music ended and I relaxed a bit. But the niece loved the tune. So she fiddled with the sound system and it was the same number again. ‘Do me! Do me!..’ and this time I started studying my shoe strings. I untied and tied them again while pretending not to hear.

I thought that this was the end of the ordeal. But it was not to be. The niece rewound the number and she came and picked me. “Uncle let’s dance!” I opened my mouth in protest. But she was having nothing of it “Uncle let’s dance…Do me! Do me!”

I got up amid great cheer from the youthful guys. I moved awkwardly while developing a great interest in studying the ceiling. There were two geckos eating mosquitoes and wondering why these humanoids were yelling ‘Do me!’

“Uncle you really can dance… let me rewind…” the girl enthused.
“Oh no, baby!” I protested, “It is my hamstring. I can hardly move. You guys just continue to have fun. I am off. It was lovely.” I hastily bid them my adieus and literary ran from the place.

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