The withering counter-attack

After the attacks by the inappropriately called minister of ‘good governance’, Sophia Simba, against leading members of the anti-big time graft squad they have rallied and made a counter attack.

Former Prime Minister and CCM vice Chairman, Mzee John Malecela has dismissed Sophia Simba as a crazy nut who needs urgent psychological treatment from the Mirembe madhouse near Dodoma before heading back to Dar.

A day earlier Sophia had gone into a diatribe against Mzee John Malecela and his wife Anne Kilango Malecela. She accused them of having their wedding to be bankrolled by businessman, Jeetu Patel.

IPP boss Reginald Mengi called Sophia Simba an idiot: “There is an English saying that don’t argue with a fool, as people might not notice the difference.” But he said sometimes one has to respond, especially when some idiot starts to utter imaginary stuff from cloud-cuckoo land.

Sophia had accused Mengi of carrying fake CCM membership and that he never helped prop up the ruling party with finances. Which baffles some of us?

Is maza trying to tell the rest of us that if you are a businessman then you cannot join CCM unless you cough up some serious moola, then you will be regarded with an agreeable disposition by the rulers. That explains it, as to why the rich guys have hi-jacked the ruling party. The rest of us are to be used as fodder in the present election times.

Maza also accused Anne Kilango of having been a drug dealer. If that was the case then why didn’t she tell the anti-narc squad? Or was she working on a PhD in Applied Fibbing. Remember, that is not a crime in Tanzania. Some on-line university should hastily award her with a doctorate in manufacturing hot air. Welcome Dr. Sophia Simba!

I told you so, John Pombe!

A couple of months ago, I said the government was about to goof in it’s handling of 296 tonnes of fish caught by Philippino pirates of the cost of Tanzania.

It was a commendable job by Livestock Development and Fisheries Minister, John Pombe Magufuli and his troops. Then some smart Alecs in the ministry, definitely with a nod from John Pombe himself, started thinking like traders, which is none of their business. That was the start of the goof.

They hired a trader in Dar who had cold storage facilities in Mwenge, to store the fish as ‘evidence’ Eyebrows were raised amongst sane men. Why store that ‘evidence’ at 800 dollars a tonne a day when it had already been verified by the state organs?

Eye Spy suggested that it only needed a posse of learned judges to spend an hour at the Mwenge Cold storage facilities and write their reports on the evidenced. Then auction the fish fasta to Tanzanians before the storage bill soared to dizzying heights. Of course the smart Alecs ignored the advise from the nosey media. In our country only the politicians and the bureaucrats are capable for any thought. The rest of us are the goons.

And now – voila! John Pombe has come in eating humble pie. The government will distribute the fish, valued at Shs 2.07 billion for free! In hindsight he has suddenly discovered that the government does not do business.

John Pombe said the distribution would start next week. The consignment would be distributed to institutions such as schools, higher learning institutions, prisons, hospitals and orphanages.

When you goof, you simply should bite the bullet and duck. But not to be outdone John Pombe started thinking with his mouth, instead of his head. He said the institutions will not be allowed to sell the fish!

Aw, c’mon John! How do you ‘supervise’ a corporal from say, Magereza, from picking up the fish from Mwenge and dropping half the loot at the Ferry Fish market?

Forgery is a fine art in Tanzania. The Bank of Tanzania (BoT) was cleaned up (EPA) by crude forgers in collusion with BoT officials. Now what stops John Pombe’s ministry officials from not ‘going to work’ on the fish deal?

During elections 10,000 voters all of a sudden turn to 20,000, all of whom swear that they love the CCM. What stops a driver from the Chuo Kikuu who has been told to pick 2 tonnes of tuna fish from the cold storage godowns from adding a zero and pick 20 tonnes? Will John and his cohorts be there to arrest him?

Worse, the minister says that Tanzanians shouldn’t worry about the huge bill to the taxpayer. “The public should not be worried over the cost over the cost of the impounded fish. We should be happy of victory against fishing pirates.” John Pombe has said placatorily.

But most of us are very uneasy about this. The cost of preservation of the consignment is $800 per tonne per month. By mid August, the government paid $1.184 million for the 296.32 tonnes for a five-month period. No offense meant, John, but some of us normal Tanzanians might pull out our calculators and start wondering what 10 per cent of $1.184 million is.

Chiligati Watanzania siyo mabwege!

Waziri wa Ardhi, Nyumba na Maendeleo ya Makazi, John Chiligati amesema kitendo cha Rais Jakaya Kikwete, kutoa ardhi kwa wawekezaji si kuiuza nchi badala yake ni kukuza uchumi kupitia kilimo.

Chiligati amesema kuwa kitendo hicho hakiwezi kuwa ni kuuza nchi, kwa sababu wawekezaji wanakodishwa mashamba na wala hawamilikishwi, hivyo wakiondoka hawaondoki nayo.

Si kweli hata kidogo na ninadhani Bwana Chiligati anajua hiyo ni danganya toto. Mimi naona Chiligati, ambaye ni mkuu wa propaganda wa CCM anacheza na msamiati.

Kukodishwa maelfu ya ardhi ya Tanzania kwa miaka 99 ni nini, kama siyo kuuza? Ikipita miaka hiyo, huo mkodisho utaendelea – kwa miaka mingine 99. Ni nini hiyo? Na WaTanzania ambao watakuwa vitukuu na vilembwe wa watawala wa leo, na ambao wengi wanaishi vijijini, wataenda wapi? Sidhani kama wote watakuwa mawaziri wa ardhi, nyumba na maendeleo ya makazi au marais.

Kwa mtu yeyote anayeifikiria na kuipenda nchi yetu, atagundua kuwa huu ni ubinafsi mbaya sana. Kwa nini tunafikiria kama kuku? Maana yake kuku anaangalia njaa yake pale pale.Akishiba basi umetoka hiyo. Kesho itajijua yenyewe.

Wakati wa uhuru, miaka arobaini na iliyopita, Tanganyika ilikuwa na wananchi 12 milioni. Leo tupo 45 milioni. Wamezidi watu 30 na, milioni. Tukianza kuuza ardhi (mimi naona ni uhaini tu) na baada ta miaka 99 utakuwa na watu 70 milioni. Je,utawaweka wapi? Nchi yetu itakuwa ni ya manamba tu? Na waTanzania hawatakubali hiyo – zitapigwa tu!

Ukiangalia historia kidogo watawala waliota, baada ya kuambiwa na wakoloni mambo-leo, kuwa bila Tanzania kubinafsisha viwanda vyetu hatuwezi kuendela. Tumebinafsisha, tena kwa bei chee, na sasa tumebaki tunang’aa macho.

Juisi za embe na mananasi ‘zinatengenezwa’ nchini Saudi Arabia. Watanzania hawawezi kusindika juisi hizo. Nguo nzuri za pamba inayolimwa Shinyanga ‘zinatengenezwa’ Dubai. Watanzania hawawezi kushona nguo za pamba. Matusi hayo kwa Tanzania Bwana Chiligati! Inaonekana kuwa Watanzania hatuwezi kufanya lo lote.

Sasa anasema, na hiyo ni sauti ya watawala wetu, kuwa nchi yetu bila kuwa na wawekezaji katika kilimo cha mashamba makubwa haiwezi kuendelea. Huu utumbo tutaendelea kusikia mpaka lini? Hizi fikira tegemezi za watawala wetu zitaendedea mpaka lini?

Kujidharau gani huko kwa watawala, na kudharau waTanzania wenzao kuwa hawawezi kulima mpunga na ngano. Mpunga ni mpunga na ngano ni ngano. Kuna watumwa wa kimawazo (inferiority complex) ambao wanafikiria kuwa waarabu au wakorea wakilima mpunga unakuwa mzuri kuliko ule unaolimwa na mmatumbi huko Ifakara. Mtu mweupe akisema, hata upumbavu gani, anasikilizwa sana na watumwa hao wanaowahusudu watu weupe.

Haya tusaidiane – tunapata maendeleo gani kutoa ardhi yetu kwa wakoloni ambao watawala wanawaita wawekezaji. Tunapata nini kutoka kwenye kashfa ya Loliondo. Eti shule moja na kiwanja cha ndege. Ni lini wamasai wa Loliondo waliiambia serikali kuwa wanataka kiwanja cha ndege?
Tuambiwe faida tanayoipata au tutakayo ipata kwa kinadi ardhi yetu. Jamani kama hamna la kufanya, basi kuleni maraha tu. Lakini ardhi yetu muiache. Kama mtu hana la kufanya basi akae anywe chai. Siyo lazima aanze kuota cha kufanya. Ardhi yetu muiache!

Hawa ni majizi tu!

Katika kumbukumbu ya mzee wetu, Mwalimu Nyerere, aliyetutoka miaka kumi iliyopita wengi wetu tumekuwa tukilaani hali tuliyonayo nchini, kwa kijanja sana. Karibu kila mtu anasema - Enzi za Mwalimu…

Kusema hicho wakati tukimkumbuka, imekuwa ni kama watoto waliobakizwa yatima. Lakini kikubwa zaidi ni kuwa tumewahi kuwa naye na sasa tunalaani tawala zilizofuata kwa kujifanya kumsifu na kumuenzi Mzee.

Sasa kama watu wakimuenzi marehemu baba yako na kutosema lolote kuhusu wewe mwenyewe, basi ujue wanakuponda kiungwana. Wengi wametumia nafasi hii kuponda yaliopo.

Nimewahi kuishi katika nchi jirani,Kenya, kwa miaka mitatu. Nimeona wenzetu wakisema ‘uzalendo’, wao wana maana binafsi. Ndugu zetu walipambana na wakoloni wa Kiingereza huku wakijifikiria wao binafsi. Wakina Lord Delamare na wakoloni wengine walivyong’olewa, waliokuwa wanajiita wazalendo waliingia kwenye utawala na kufanya madudu zaidi ya wakolini wenyewe.

Niliona shamba la aliyekuwa rais, Mzee jomo Kenyatta kati ya barabara ya Nairobi na Nakuru. Kulia ni shamba la Mzee na kushoto shamba la Binti yake, Margaret Kenyatta. Kwa kifupi tu – ni kufuru.

Na usiambiwe, kelele zote kutoka kwa jirani zetu ni hasa kwa sababu hawana ardhi. Ardhi yote imenyakuliwa na wajanja na watawala. Wananchi walio wengi wanakaa katika mageto, wao wanaita rizavu (native reserves) mijini.

Biashara zote kubwa zilikuwa na ni za familia na rafiki zake. Mpaka sasa imekubalika, au inaonekana hivyo. Majizi yamekubalika tangu walipopata uhuru.

Tanzania tuna mfano tofauti. Tulipata kiongozi na wenzake waliyeongoza nchi. Siyo kikundi cha watawala ambao wanafikiria kazi yao ni wizi.

Ukifananisha na yaliofuata utamfanya Mzee Nyerere awe ni mtakatifu. Ukifananisha na majambazi, kama Mobutu wa iliyokuwa Zaire (DRC), Omar Bongo (Gabon), Mugabe ambaye anaiga Kenya, utamuona Mzee Nyerere ni tofauti kabisa. Kwake nchi ilikuja namba moja. Uzalendo.

Mwalimu kaondoka na sasa tumebakia na unafiki wa kutisha. Eti, majitu yanauza nchi, na yanasema yanafuata maadili ya Mwalimu.

Huu unyang’anyi wa rasilmali za taifa zisiusishwe hata kidogo na hayati Mwalimu. Huu ubinafsishwaji na wizi wa viwanda vya umma uwekwe mbali kabisa na Mwalimu. Majambazi yameuza nchi na tuyaite hivyo hivyo – majambazi.

Mafisadi tuwaite hivyo hivyo – majizi, hakuna kuanza kuwapaka wanja watu wanaotia kichefu chefu. Hivi sasa dhamira ya kutumikia umma ni ndoto. Uongozi kwapu kwapu ndiyo unatamba.

Shukrani moja kwa Mwalimu ni kuwa alituachia kipimo cha maana ya uongozi. Kwa hiyo kila mwaka kumbu kumbu ya kututoka kwake uwe ni wa kuyazomea majizi na majambazi hayo.

Mambo yanayotokea sasa ya kuuza (wao wanaita lease) ardhi, kama wale machifu wa karne iliyopita yaandikwe vizuri kabisa. Machifu hao waliuza ardhi ya Tanganyika ili kupata shanga za wake zao, ulevi kama whiski, na kaniki. Majina ya machifu wa leo yaandikwe na kumulikwa vizuri ili wajukuu na vitukuu vyao wajue kuwa mababu zao walikuwa ni wahaini wakubwa wa nchi hii nzuri.
Nionavyo mimi katika ujambazi unaoendelea hivi sasa, Hayati Mwalimu Nyerere ataendelea kuwa mioyoni mwetu. Na kwa majambazi na majizi yanayoendelea ni kuwa wananchi wa Tanzania wana mfano wa kuwafananisha nao. Huu uovu hautaruhusiwa kuendelea milele. Mwalimu katutoka. Lakini Mwalimu bado anaishi!

Those randy regions!

According to a study, the people in Shinyanga, Tabora, Lindi and Morogoro Regions go at each other in sexual activities as if there is no tomorrow. A Tacaids official has told a seminar that in Shinyanga a man can enjoy the attentions of up to nine babes monthly!

Well, I don’t know if that kind of sexual athletics can actually be called ‘enjoyment’. Having heard how the guys in Shinyanga, Mwanza and the environs, that can be very hard work.

In dating game the youngsters of age gather and the young chicks of age are offered to chose the guy they fancy – ‘chagulaga’ they call it. Once the guy is chosen by his potential paramour, he has to do a Usein Bolt and chase the chick, through the bush.

This involves a touch of steeple-chase, long jumps, hop, step and jumps. He just has to race her to the ground and after some champion wrestling to win her favours. You could say that is foreplay, Nyamwezi and Sukuma style.

This means if you come from the coast and find yourself in Tabora or Shinyanga, you could end up dying of ‘uhanga’, as those cheeky varsity students call it. Coastal people are not exactly re-known for the art of wrestling.

Anyway, Tacaids does not have a problem with how people have their fun. What bothers them is that multi-partners cause the spread of the deadly killer disease - HIV/Aids.

So the advice is the guys in those regions should slow down, you know, bonk with discipline. If there is anything like that. So you just ask yourself, what could be the cause of the sexual overdrive in those regions?

Could be their diet. Ugali and yoghurt. But it can’t be that. We all eat ugali and some sour milk and other stuff. Maybe the guys add snake poison to stimulate their gonad glands.

Or, another reason could be the size of the ugali itself. To these guys, and the luos and the rest of them, size actually matters. I have seen brothers from those regions who disciplined a huge mound of ugali. They eat so much, you could see sweat running down noses. This could be the reason why the need nine chicks a month to keep them happy.

Some say it could be a deliberate move by, who else? – the government of the United Republic of Tanzania. They deliberately keep the citizens of those poor regions in the dark. No power and the present rationing doesn’t help a bit.

Now what do you do in downtown Nzega in Tabora region, after you have gone to do your ka-farm of maize? You come home, and after some chow, go for some local pombe. Once home, you can’t listen to the radio, of course no TV, no lights and you can’t read. You look at the wife and start thinking.

For those single men, after the pombe they hit the bush and the chagulaga game commences. It’s very romantic, full moon, on God’s open-air guest house. It’s amazing that, apart, from regrettable HIV/Aids deaths, there aren’t many incidents of snake bites, by venomous reptiles!

Welcome to Dark es Salaam!

The citizens of Dar, no Dark es Salaam, have been baying, and are still are, for blood. They want their electricity, yesterday, or else! Not me! Over the years I have learnt not to raise my blood pressure because government incompetence and goofing. It’s not news.

Having been born an incorrigible optimist I thank the Almighty for my ability to look at the silver lining, not the cloud. If there is a problem, I don’t get angry, I get smart.

Take one. My ka-chick and I have all those lovely candle-lit dinners, every evening. It’s unbelievably romantic. Thanks to the government of the United Republic of Tanzania. Two of my neighbors have asked me for the government’s baby making ministry’s address. They are expecting to multiply in their family. Babies are on the way as a result of the romantic nights.

Personally, I am expecting to get the vacant job of Tanesco managing director. I hear some 50 guys have already applied. I will be the 51st, and believe me, I will get the job.

Don’t give me the bull-crap of not being qualified. Actually I have been withholding my PhD in Electricity Shedding for ages. Waiting for the right moments to strike. Timing is extremely important in these matters. So enter Dr. Adam Lusekelo (PhD Electricity Shedding)

I know, having Richmond in mind, Bwana Mkubwa, Jack Mrisho himself, will understandably be very suspiciously asking what miracles I will perform as the new boss of the utility company.

This will be easy streets for me. I will tell Mkuu that I will order for 10,000 transformers – from India, of course. These will be generously distributed throughout the country. Major towns like Msata in the coast region will get 500 machines. That will solve the problem of oncoming El Nino rains.

I will advice ‘Mzee’ that if the rains do not rain with discipline, that is, at Mtera and all those strategic rain catching area, he will have to dispatch post-haste, the Premier Mizengo Pinda to go to Thailand and buy some, lest there is drought. It has been done before with former Premier Ted Lowassa.

I will tell Mkuu that I have in place those indefatigable Tanzanian businessmen who have been helping this thankful nation how to cut all those deals like the radar thing, the Iveco trucks, and now 50 billion tractor deal, which will quadruple our agriculture in just five years time.

Super nationalist, Jayantial ‘Jeetu’ Patel has won the tractor deal. I will respectfully suggest that another super nationalist, Tarik ‘Bulbul’ Singh Sohal, of Idodi, in Iringa, be awarded the 10,000 transformer import deal.
But that is not all. As Tanesco boss I will assume that Tanesco has been possessed by the devil. So will summon all the preacher men in town to come and exorcise the devils (pepo), every week.

Drunken driving is legal in Bongo!

In one of my sojourns abroad I was met with very agreeable couple with their two lovely kids. That evening they invited me to dinner at restaurant about three kilometers from their home.

The family had two cars but, came evening they suggested that we walk to the dinner place.
“But why?” I asked, flabbergasted.
“You see, we are planning to have a drink. Have some wine or something.”
“So what?” I asked. This time they were flabbergasted.
“But drunken driving is strictly not allowed in our country. You could get a five-year ban and a stiff fine for that. They police are very strict about drunken driving.” They insisted.

We left two top-notch cars and walked to the restaurant and back. Okay, we had great fun. But I could easily have done with a drive to and from the chow place.

The next morning, while I was yawning and reflecting the events last night, I felt a sense of nostalgia for the United Republic of Bongo. What country was that where one could ply oneself with booze and happily zigzag one’s home, ands God help everybody on the way?

Whatever they say about breaking the law one thing I have noticed – breaking the law is cool in the United Republic of Tanzania. As long as you don’t want to violently from power and you are well connected, you can literary get away with murder!

Drunken driving is perfectly okay in Bongo? You go to a watering hole and get pissed until you are blotto, then you stagger off to your car and start committing attempted murders on other citizen’s life and limb on the road. You may even succeed to commit suicide and kill other people in the process. Suicide driver or something.

What will society do? The traffic cop will hardly notice that before you killed other people you were bombed dizzy. Instead the traffic cop will have been busy admiring your four-wheel contraption and likely to ask for some chai for himself too.

Your chick will be busy, not restraining you, but admiring mzee fiddling with the latest CDs and making sure that rivals see her, well and clear nodding to the car stereo belting out the tunes. And society in general will be admiring as the drunk zooms around town. Society, in general will be nodding their approval on your drunken exploits. He has made it. He is rich.

But being bombed alone is not enough. The apart from the latest car you have to have latest cell phone. To have the right car, fairly drunk, the latest cell phone is absolutely de rigueur for any self-respecting city pretender claiming to have ‘made it’.

The phone must have a disco, radio, TV, a picture of your latest concubine (few spouses are lucky enough to make it to mzee’s I-Pod) a fast-take away restaurant, internet and everything – you just name it, it is in there.

Never mind that your own dad and mom are living – no, not living – semi starving in some hovel somewhere in some village. They are busy scratching mother earth with their chapped hands using hand-holes. While in town you claim that they are ‘farmers’.

I think if the billions stolen at EPA grand corruption could have made it to the rural areas that would have been understandable. But the guys are a living lie. Not I think Tanzania, as a country, is living in a bubble. One day that bubble will burst.

For now drink driving is cool, add a cell-phone and talking mostly nonsense while you are busy arranging a date in a guest house with someone’s spouse – that is no problem! You see breaking the law has become so common that we actually don’t need to worry about EPA. You start with small crimes and then go to big crimes. The society is now immune to criminality. You can break the law and most likely you will be handsomely rewarded for it!

What the opposition should fight

I watch the opposition forces in Tanzania with great pity. They are presently busy flailing away at the constant political jabs from the ruling state-party, the mighty CCM, and are slowly getting punch-drunk. They are waiting for next year’s general elections and think that miracles will happen then. Mawe!

For example CCM’s secretary general, Joe Makamba has just taunted Tanzanians that he sees no substantial threats from opposition parties in the forthcoming civic elections. If that happens, then naturally CCM will win the parliamentary and presidential elections, he says.

Joe has a point. I would also say that, if I had the backing of the state juggernaut supporting me. He has also started using the magic word, kishindo (landslide) again after what happened in 2005.

But everyone knows that those landslides are not natural or home grown. You don’t need the dreaded El Nino rains to get such political landslides. In our countries they usually occur with a lot of help from human beings. The landslides in most African elections are man-made.

What the opposition should do is monitor those landslides and remove the causes. Some think that the pressure to the rulers is not enough. CUF recently had a rally to demand for an independent Electoral Commission. That should be louder.

There are also demands for independent candidates to contest the next elections. But that is being denied by the government. Our rulers are insisting on taking part in a football match and being the ref at the same time. Just take out your dictionary and check-out the word ‘dictate’ and you get a rough idea of those landslides.

But the opposition is partly to blame. Going for elections next year, is simply playing and endorsement of those who love the word ‘dictate’. You tie one hand of your opponent and invite him for a fair fight. That can not be so. It’s just no contest.

The opposition is also misreading the political terrain of Bongo. They should know that, like any people in this world, Tanzanians want change. First most of the people of Bongo want the CCM out, yesterday. This is simply because the ruling party has nothing new to say. But then, what is the alternative?

I hastily add that the opposition also has nothing new to say. Maybe Chadema has been making some right and credible noises to its listeners. Few of us even understand what the other parties stand for. Unity of the opposition remains as elusive as ever.

This leaves the CCM rubbing their hands in glee. They can throw all those damaging blows at will to the opposition. When it comes to CUF, the CCM throws a constant stream of punches that CUF is a religious-based (Islamic) party. This causes other political forces to recoil in horror.

When it comes to Chadema, the CCM propaganda machine drops heavy hints that it is a tribal party. TPL is branded as Gus Mrema’s personal party. Few of us really know what NCCR is up to.

This is plain to see that without unity the rulers for life of the opposition parties will only dream of the political power in Tanzania.
Change should also apply to the opposition. As it is now, it looks like the leadership of the opposition parties not only run, but also owns those parties. This running of political fiefdoms and calling them political parties for more than a decade simply won’t wash

Leadership ethics? Where?

Former close aide of the late Mwalimu Nyerere, Joe Butiku, has warned that corruption has become so endemic that it is now like a cancer in the Tanzanian society.

He should know, for he was there, when a successive bunch of liars diddled Mwalimu to think that they were his ardent followers. In fact they were bidding their time and eventually outlasted the late Mzee. Now they are simply a national embarrassment.

Butiku has said hardened corrupt individuals holding public office have been infecting erstwhile honest Tanzanians with the bribery and corruption ‘disease”. That is simply not true. What we have now is not a disease, but a pandemic!

“Corruption is eating our nation. More and more public servants today are tossing public leadership in favour of dabbling in grand corruption, which can explain the sudden wealth that many of them now display.” He has lamented.

And the most irksome thing is they flaunt it! The rest of us mortals are supposed to applaud their idiosyncrasies. But then, when there is impunity, people start wondering and asking questions.

For example, the government is urging people to pay their taxes to help development. Serious things like spending their taxes in buying Shs 100 million shangingis each for the district Bwana Mkubwa to inspect development . Like the opening of a Shs 5 million shilling toilet in a primary school. Of course the money to dig the toilets that have been donated by donors.

Then the premier goes public and tells his civil servants to cut spending for the luxuries. The civil servants simply ignore him and buy more shangingis. Some of us mortals start wondering – just who is the boss?

Then the government orders the people to pay their taxes. The natural question from the people is - why? To get social services, the government replies, trying to be reasonable.

But we think we citizens of Tanzania need tax exemptions. Never! The government huffs, everyone is supposed to pay tax or else! Then the citizens decide to jog the government’s memory a bit. The government gave a tax exemption of $11 million to a foreign company … Assayers.

This foreign company is given preference to the Tanzania’s school system, medical facilities and other social amenities so as to please a foreign capitalists company. If it is given a tax-exemption why not the citizen of the United Republic of Tanzania?

The government resorts to its pet stance – see nothing, hear nothing and say nothing. You only get an odd statement that the government means business when it says that it will get all those fisadis.

We hear that nearly 13 million Tanzania never pay tax. But everyone knows that. Most businessmen don’t pay tax, they just ‘contribute’ to the ruling party out of love and affection.

We all remember when former premier Fredo Sumaye advised businessmen to support CCM if they wanted to do business in Tanzania. The question is why pay tax so that the least productive guys in town continue to buy shangingis?

So the people decide that instead of paying tax, they would rather put their money on DECI, pyramid system or any other place instead of government coffers to see the unholy alliance of traders and civil servants chop all the money.

Mr. Joe Butiku and his types have an uphill task. For years now, every reign of the rulers have pretended to fight corruption. The rulers are thinking aloud with their mouths. It looks official now, unless the wananchi ‘see’ actions against the excesses, they will also retaliate – why pay taxes for the free-loaders to have fun at their expense? It seems to be paying if the wananchi learn to do nothing or also learn the game of the plunderers who have made ‘stealing’ quite a respectable past-time in our country.

Privatised Bongo in 30 years time?

In the next thirty years the United Republic of Tanzania might not look like it does now. We will have gone though a successive regimes and presidents. I might even contemplate to become on of those presidents myself.

For - anyone can be a president. Right now the CCM government is fiercely resisting the number one issue of the Tanzanian democracy. It does not want independent candidates – a thing which is highly undemocratic, although we claim to be building a democracy.

As it is in Tanzania, democracy is only at play when and if the CCM wins. A reason which is ludicrous. But the CCM has its freedom, even if it means slowly to strangle itself. The people of Tanzania will not forget EPA, Richmond, Kiwira coal deposts and other scandals in a hurry. Those scandals were borne and nursed by CCM and its government, none
other!

And independent candidates are on their way – whether CCM likes it or not. I know that there are some CCM guys chafing under the guys who have bought out the CCM, not because of any higher ideal, but because they have the money. I know the good guys in the CCM resent it, but their party has been bought out by people whom polite society call ‘thugs in suits.’

CCM fears that if independent candidates are allowed the good guys in the CCM might opt to become independents, rather than be tarnished by thugs in suits.

But things will change – they will have to change! You just cannot dictate to the people of Tanzania to that extent. We have heard of politicians being booed in different fora. Those in power should know that the word ‘fisadi’ will not be out of fashion in the year 2010, elections.

If he independent candidate will enter the fray, then count my name in for president. You simply lie yourself to the top and promise Tanzanians things you will never deliver.

Now there is this selfish thing, which same call privatisation. I don’t mind privatisation – if it is done properly. Not like that joke at Kiwira coal mine. That is simply grabbing a coal mine.

I fear the next president and some minister might collude to cut out chunks of Tanzania for themselves. I wonder what the present president will fancy. Bagamoyo is a very historical town. Maybe our president, Jack Mrisho, might fancy it and say that from now on the historical town is actually his, through the Bagamoyo Heritage Company Ltd. If we want to visit it then the rest of us will have to pay in dollars.

Another president might fancy the Serengeti National Park and privatise it. We have to pay in dollars enter to see the wildlife. The next president might say he is in love with the Selous National Park. He will own Selous Game Park Company Ltd. and become partners with his family and girlfriends and a friendly minister of national resources and tourism.

The president of Zanzibar might say he has started the Stone Town Company Ltd. If you want to enter it, you must pay in dollars, of course. By the way I hear that the plum parts in Stone Town are slowly being bought out by the ruling class!

What will I fancy when I become the prez of the United Republic of Tanzania (If it is still there)? Oh well, I will look at the Kilimanjaro National Park very closely.

We could privatise it and I will order that it be bought by the Roof of Africa Company Ltd. It will be owned my chick and I, of course. I will be in partnership with the then minister of natural resources and tourism.

In thirty years time Tanzanians will be owned by companies of former presidents and ministers who earlier had sworn that they will serve the country diligently and honestly, so help them God!

Of leaders and rulers

When we are born, human kinds first think about ourselves. Me. My mother, then my father. But the paramount thing is me. Selfishness is inherent in us from day one.

Then when the brood starts to grow and you find yourself with brothers and sisters. You start to be taught by your parent that there is this business of sharing. Watch all kids – they just don’t like it. They want the ‘me’ aspect.

Then you are taken to school and decent teachers drum in the sharing aspect into your little head. In our primary school report every end of the term there was this line - consideration for others.

School succeeded to remove the ‘me’ in some of us, at least to a decent extent. But not to most of us. We grew up with ‘me’ until we became adults and assumed public office. They call it public office, but to most guys it simply means the opposite. It becomes a private office.

So if it is ‘my’ office, how can I ‘eat’ it? If that hangover of selfishness stays with in you to adulthood you are going to be more susceptible to corruption.

You want all the money in the world to be yours, all the chicks or guys to be yours and all the lavish attention to be yours. You might be 50 years old but the child in you is still intact. You are a middle aged fake and a thief. You could look dapper and in smart suits, but you are still a thief.

When you are given public office it’s even worse. You start assuming airs and arrogance sets in. Because suddenly you have toughs guarding your every move, protecting your home and family. You might end up chasing away your own aunt from the village who comes to your place without an appointment. It has happened before.

Now to some of us spectators of this human farce there comes in the question of language. The media casually call these human clowns ‘leaders’.

Not me. Leader comes from the word ‘lead’. To lead you are supposed to show an example so that the decent people you are leading acknowledge and follow your example.

I was a great admirer of the late Mwalimu Nyerere. The moment you met him you realised that he was a human being. A great man, but a human being. That was leader and a half. Some people even went to ridiculous levels of aping even the way he spoke.

Mwalimu basically despised money and concentrated in the business of running the country. Sometimes making wrong decisions. He mostly admitted when he goofed and said he was only human.

But now Tanzanians are getting very short of leaders. Leaders are an endangered species! The are some guys who think leadership is about body guards and parades. I call those guys ‘rulers’ not leaders. They like to show muscle, pomp and circumstance. But they steal tax-payers money like hell! They steal from us.

How could you name a thief a leader? We cannot follow that example. Tanzanians cannot all be thieves. Some of us were decently brought up. We have a conscience. We were constantly taught that it is wrong to steal!.

Today it is chic for thieves to call themselves ‘leaders’ I cannot admire that. They can steal and rule with guns. My question always is: How many eggs do they eat at one breakfast sitting - a hundred?

The nasty generation gap!

I was busy minding my own business the other day, listening to civilised music which makes the heart relax. You get that when you enjoy some sane music, be it in love, broken hearts and just life in general. It felt good.

That is, until when my cell-phone rang. It was some niece, a friend’s daughter, inviting me to her 18th birthday. I couldn’t say no to the little girl I have slowly but surely watched her grow. I couldn’t say no to a damsel in distress.

The week passed before you could say ‘party’. I dressed like any middle-aged man who is worth his age. No suit, of course! I hate suits because they have lately been the first line of defence for con-men. I tend to be very wary of those guys stuffed in suits who simply want to make a statement – mostly a false one - to the rest of us.

My niece was delighted to see me. I am popular with both my nephews and nieces. Could be because I am a modern day uncle and I can be reasonably permissive to the new kids in the block. Kizazi kijacho.

Bottle of booze were secretly exchanging hands amongst the young guys. I looked the other way, of course. Sometimes you have pretend that you are not there.

I watched the youth having fun. Their dress was hideous – at least to me. The chicks in impossibly tight minis which they kept pulling down to their knees. The minis promptly went to their original ridiculously revealing ‘thighland’.

The young men had these jeans which they wore below their waists. If you watched their behinds you would have thought there was pooh held in there. But they told me that was fashion.

Cool. Uncle kept quiet and watched the uncles have fun. There was decent music – so far. But it seemed the niece wanted to warm things up a bit more. Suddenly the sound system exploded and there was this singer shouting ‘Do me! Do me! Do me and I will do you!’

Suddenly I found this interest in my nails. I urgently needed a manicure. I also pretended not to hear the ‘Do me!’ pornographic hit.I never removed my gaze from my nails. The uncles were squealing with delight and shouting ‘Do me!

Thankfully the music ended and I relaxed a bit. But the niece loved the tune. So she fiddled with the sound system and it was the same number again. ‘Do me! Do me!..’ and this time I started studying my shoe strings. I untied and tied them again while pretending not to hear.

I thought that this was the end of the ordeal. But it was not to be. The niece rewound the number and she came and picked me. “Uncle let’s dance!” I opened my mouth in protest. But she was having nothing of it “Uncle let’s dance…Do me! Do me!”

I got up amid great cheer from the youthful guys. I moved awkwardly while developing a great interest in studying the ceiling. There were two geckos eating mosquitoes and wondering why these humanoids were yelling ‘Do me!’

“Uncle you really can dance… let me rewind…” the girl enthused.
“Oh no, baby!” I protested, “It is my hamstring. I can hardly move. You guys just continue to have fun. I am off. It was lovely.” I hastily bid them my adieus and literary ran from the place.

Ni haki tu,wauaji wanyongwe

Unajua, kuna kitu ambacho kinamfanya mwanadamu kuitwa mwanadamu. Pamoja na kutembelea miguu miwili, hisia zote na kubwa zaidi akili. Hiyo ndiyo inamfanya mwanadamu ajitenganishe na viumbe vingine vya mwenyezi Mungu.

Kuna vitu vinavyofanya mwanaadam aitwe mwanadamu. Mtu anayeonekana kama mwanadamu, halafu akaishia kuwa na mwenendo wa kinyama mara nyingi hatusiti kumwita mnyama.

Sasa hivi karibu nchi nzima imekumbwa na mjadala mkali baada ya watatu watatu kuhukumiwa kunyongwa kwa kumuua kijana, Masumbuko Dunia (13) ambaye alikuwa ni mlemavu wa ngozi.

Jaji Gabriel Rwakibalila aliwakuta vijana hao watatu, mjini Kahama, na hatia ya jinai ya kuua kijana huyo kwa sababu za kishirikina. Eti kupata viungo vya vya kijana huyo, au mtu yo yote mwernye ulemavu wa ngozi kutawawezesha kupata utajiri. Sasa kuna wanaopinga hukumu ya hiyo ya kifo.

Wanataka kuwafanananisha wauaji hao na watu wa kawaida. Lakini wote tunajua hivyo sivyo. Watu watatu wakikaa na kupanga mauaji ya kinyama (pre-meditated murder) ya mwanadamu mwenzao, ili kumkata kata viungo vyake, ili waviuze, ili wawe matajiri, si watu hao, ni wanyama.

Simba mla watu akiua wanavijiji, hakuna mtu anamuonea huruma. Serikali inawatuma ma-game ranger, ili kumuua simba huyo. Hakuna mtu anayeshituka. Kwanza ndiyo jamii inashukuru kuondolewa na kero hiyo ya hatari.

Afadhali hata simba, anayeuwa kwa ajili ya njaa. Hayo majambazi, yanayo jiita wanadamu, hayakua na nia nyimgine bali uroho wa kinyama na ushirikina. Yanatisha jamii, kama vile simba mla watu. Sasa kwa nini jamii isijikinge na wanyama hao, ambao wanatumia akili zao kuwinda binadamu wenzao kama wanyama?

Jamii ina haki kabisa ya kujihami. Wasingekamatwa na vyombo vya dola
nina hakika wangaeendelea na uovu wao wa kutisha. Kwa nini waachiwe waendelee kukera jamii?

Wanaharakati wa haki za binadamu wanasema kuwa hoja isiwe jino kwa jino bali kutovunja haki za binadamu. Mimi nadhani mtazamo huu unapakwa rangi kidogo na mafundisho ya dini. Kusamehe.

Kama ni haki za binadamu, mbona majambazi hayo hayakufikiria kuhusu haki za kijana Masumbuko Dunia? Wakamchinja kama mbuzi, halafu tukae nao katika jamii? Hiyo haiendi kabisa.

Wanasema kuwa adhabu ingefaa kwa kuwarundika ndani ili wajirudi. Je aliyeuawea anajirudi vipi. Tena, swala hapa siyo wao majambazi. Swala ni jamii ambayo inalazimishwa kujikinga na ugaidi wa wanyama hao wanaojiita watu.

Wanaotetea wanyama hao wa Kahama wajiulize – je , ingekuwa aliyeuawa na kukatwa katwa vipande kama mbuzi angekuwa mwanao ungefanya nini? Ungesema afungwe na kupewa nafasi ya kujirudi, ili asiuwe watu wengine?

Nasema tena, jamii ina haki ya kujikinga na kuwaondoa wanyama hao kabisa. Na hilo liwe onyo. Mimi naona tusipoteze hata muda kwa kulumbana kuhusu ‘haki’ za wanyama hao. Kama hawakuweza kuishi katika jamii na kudhalilisha jamii nzima, basi wanyongwe tu

Wauaji hao wametangaza vita dhidi ya jamii. Sasa katika vita watu wengi wanageuka kuwa wanyama. Ndiyo maana mahakama za wakati kama huo hutoa adhabu ya kifo kama ni onyo la waharibifu. Majasusi na wahaini hunyongwa. Na wauaji, kwa sababu usalama wa nchi unakuwa siyo makini, wakipatwa wananyongwa. Haki za binadamu? Na haki za raia je?

Huwezi kusema ukarejesha wanyama kama hawa kwenye maadili na utu. Wakionja damu ya mtu huwezi kuwarudisha katika mabadiliko katika maisha. Eti wauaji wanaweza kuwa mfano mkuu wa jamii na kufanya watu wengi kukiri udhaifu wao na kuwa wanyoofu maishani. Kusadikika huko!