Stop battering women!

We have just had the commemoration of 16 days of global activism to end gender-based violence. In short, men should stop thumping women - a thing which I agree with very much.

It is the Neanderthal in men which is mainly to blame. Once the man’s adrenalin starts to flow then there might be a problem for which violence is the only cure.

Men thump their women and the opposite sex respond by also doing nasty things as well. I once knew a lady who carried herself like some royalty – when she was not, angry. We simply envied her guy.

The dapper guy would ‘torture’ the rest of us by swinging around with the cool damsel, leaving the rest of us green with envy. Then one day she caught him betraying her trust.

No the lady didn’t fight. She just went for his wardrobe, took out his best suits and shredded each pair like a bunch of useless pieces of paper. Man, the guy had expensive outfit! To this day it is said that he has hydraulic problems with his system down there. Doctors have prescribed Viagra pills for him.

I wonder if it is the times. But many stories of fearful crimes crop up with the insecurities and jealousies among couples. Men batter their women. There are those horror stories too. I remember that picture of a young lady who ended up being splashed with sulphuric acid on her face.

The murderous punk is said to have splashed her with the acid while yelling that if he was being rejected then he would rather that all the men miss the charm of her beauty.

Another punk was so jealous of his chick that he killed her with a machete and went to string himself up. Another punk, a plain-clothes policeman shot his lover due to jealousy and simply disappeared. I hear he has never been caught ever since by the authorities.

You never stop hearing the horrors former lovers committed to each other. Most of the violent men should meet my sister, Tausi. She is a bombshell of a babe. But don’t be fooled by that name. Yes, she moves with the gaiety of a peacock but that is where it all ends.

Tausi also possessed one of the most lethal head-butts I have seen in a babe. One day at this watering hole the boyfriend was kind of misbehaving. His mouth was uttering profanities and other epithets. Tausi never lifted her hand until, that is, he hit her.

It was just like a movie. She head-butted him three times on the face in such rapid succession that it was not only the guy who didn’t know what hammered him but even those near the hapless guy were also left spellbound!

The ‘sweetie’ went down, ‘maroon soup’ literally gushing out of his reddened bloody nose. Some of us simply found it to be the unexpected sequel to poetic justice. Yes, bullies anywhere in the world should be thumped in return.

Which brings me back to the gender-violence thing. Should martial arts become compulsory for females?

God forbid. Experience shows that if you empower someone, whosoever they are, they would be tempted to use that power and use it corruptly. A female unarmed combat guru would simply be too dangerous a species for the masculine honeys.

Men are physically stronger but women are physiologically excellent. If you don’t agree, try getting pregnant. Making women physically superior also, would simply imperil men. A woman’s weapon of mass destruction is her compelling nightingale voice not the power to throw punches.

Women are simply dangerous as fighters. At least one man in the world, who found and harnessed that truth, is Libya’s Muamar Ghadafi. He has a legion of all women close bodyguards. And if you think he is not well protected, try getting near him.

I remember some Tanzanian men who formed a Tanzania Battered Husbands Society. They have complained that they are being battered by their wives.

Violence, in any form is horrible. Maybe we should teach our children to make love and not war when they grow up. And, with an eye on Tanzania’s population boom, we should also tell our babies – make love and not babies!