Eating crap for Christmas!

Predictably the season goes with plenty of eating of eating and drinking – good stuff, and mostly crap.

At least that’s what Tanzanian’s Food and Drugs Authority (TDFA) boss, Maggie Ndomondo-Sigonda seems to say. Her set-up has impounded 14,032 tins, weighing 452.09 kilogrammes of junk being sold as food.

Maggie said the junk was discovered in 28 shops in Kinondoni, 25 Ilala and 12 in Temeke in the Asia’s junkyard of Dar es Salaam. The stuff came as infant milk and has been dubiously increasing in the market in recent years. “We also discovered various items that were unfit for human consumption.” She added.

The junk was labeled in foreign languages which is neither English or Kiswahili, thus making it difficult to identify their origin. Which reinforces the arrogance which the smugglers have. What next – tinned shit from abroad?

Poor fellows, eager to join the ‘middle class’ are duped by the junk when they see pictures of the bouncy babies on the tins. They think if they buy and feed their totos with the junk, they with be bonnie looking like in the pictures! Which is a load of rubbish, of course.

The mothers are, in fact, poisoning their babies. I have read some research somewhere, feeding your bambino with such poisons might result into creating a hermaphrodite being. The result could be girls getting moustaces in puberty – or boys growing tits!

But to the young mother she thinks she looks cool, feeding her bambino with tinned shit. Wameuchinja!

Selling stuff which is unfit for human consumption is attempted murder. If someone attempts to give poison to someone in a local eatery, that is considered as criminal. What about if someone sells poison in a shop, branded as some infant formula, isn’t that attempted murder?

The TFDA boss, Maggie Ndomondo-Sigonda has given us a few figures of he illegal tinned shit her firm has impounded. What I can’t understand is she never said anything about people arrested for selling that stuff?

Surely there tins did not find themselves stacked in those Kinondoni, Temeke and Ilala shops, all by accident. They were bought, stacked and displayed in those shops by criminal people. Have there been any arrests? What are the punks selling the poisons to Tanzanians, to be fed to Tanzanian babies, charged with?

Or, it could be the shopkeepers ran away once they saw Maggie and her troops? It is easy to tell that this racket has been going on for ages and the guys getting bolder – poisoning Tanzanians at will. Any convictions for attempted murder Maggie? I think Tanzanians should be told.

Just for general information – China recently executed two top officials of the Chinese government firm which okayed the adding of poisonous substances in its infant formula.

But that is China. Punishment is never in our culture in the United Republic of Tanzania. Unless, that is you stole a chicken over Christmas. Then you are dead! Merry Christmas!

Loving each other to death!

Middle age can be tricky. I hear once you go through the process of procreation, the urge to need each other (men and women, I mean) recedes. With men, they would rather go for an odd chat or drink or two to while the day away.

The things you once cherished increasingly become less and less important. My late old guy used to complain when they have had a tiff with the old girl: “Son, the surefire way of assuring yourself trouble in life are two things – a woman and a car.”

I would chuckle and look the other way. What was the Mzee talking about? I mean in those crazy years it was normal talk to the gang about your exploits with your ka-chick. Ninety per cent of the talk was wild fantasies. You walked from Dar to Miriam College in Morogoro to see your chick. She escorted you from Morogoro back to Dar. Love, you see.

You would lie to the rest of the gang (we were called gringos) about your exploits. “Did you score?” the gang would ask you, their eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.

“Of course.” You would lie, “What do you think I am, a wimp? Six bloody times! You should have heard her scream with pleasure” You could hear the gringos sigh with a mixture of frustration and desire.

Later the whole gang would quickly disappear into the nearest loo to ostensibly have ‘showers’. Some would were heard to fall flat on the wet floors of the bathrooms.

Before you know it, you are grown up. Money becomes a problem. Before you date her you must have the money. That’s when you are taught that before you spend money you must earn it.

This makes much sense to me today. You just cannot spend money you don’t have. Except, of course, you are an African government, like Bongo. I later came to learn that most of the toffee-nosed bums who did that, ended up being wimps when they grew up. But the culture is very much into fashion today. Individuals and governments. And all the wimps who spend money without working for it are called fisadis. I just wonder for how long we are going to continue with the culture of glorifying thieves.

Also the trouble with middle-age is that instead of working on the joys of this category of age, your body starts rebelling. Your body says: “Okay, old boy, go and kill that ka-little chick. Just right for you.” Your head says yes as you ogle her with desire.

But, south of the border, the ka-thing behaves like a little baby who is learning how to walk. Damn! You feel like singing to the little uncle down there: “Up you go, I said. Attaboy! You can’t let me down in Mzee’s hour of need”

Nothing. Then one day, the scientist of the world discovered those little blue pills. Take two and the fireworks begin. But the medicos forgot to warn the middle aged guys, that…simply don’t overdo it! In the process of trying to ‘kill’ somebody with joy, you might end up very dead yourself, with a cardiac arrest!

Hard times. How will it be, having a barful of grumpy middle-aged potential lovers? The guy thinks the ka-thing could be having the bug and the ka-dada worrying that the James Bond across the table is carrying a loaded gun with a deadly HIV virus, not necessarily at the service of Her Majesty the Queen? Hard times these!

Stop battering women!

We have just had the commemoration of 16 days of global activism to end gender-based violence. In short, men should stop thumping women - a thing which I agree with very much.

It is the Neanderthal in men which is mainly to blame. Once the man’s adrenalin starts to flow then there might be a problem for which violence is the only cure.

Men thump their women and the opposite sex respond by also doing nasty things as well. I once knew a lady who carried herself like some royalty – when she was not, angry. We simply envied her guy.

The dapper guy would ‘torture’ the rest of us by swinging around with the cool damsel, leaving the rest of us green with envy. Then one day she caught him betraying her trust.

No the lady didn’t fight. She just went for his wardrobe, took out his best suits and shredded each pair like a bunch of useless pieces of paper. Man, the guy had expensive outfit! To this day it is said that he has hydraulic problems with his system down there. Doctors have prescribed Viagra pills for him.

I wonder if it is the times. But many stories of fearful crimes crop up with the insecurities and jealousies among couples. Men batter their women. There are those horror stories too. I remember that picture of a young lady who ended up being splashed with sulphuric acid on her face.

The murderous punk is said to have splashed her with the acid while yelling that if he was being rejected then he would rather that all the men miss the charm of her beauty.

Another punk was so jealous of his chick that he killed her with a machete and went to string himself up. Another punk, a plain-clothes policeman shot his lover due to jealousy and simply disappeared. I hear he has never been caught ever since by the authorities.

You never stop hearing the horrors former lovers committed to each other. Most of the violent men should meet my sister, Tausi. She is a bombshell of a babe. But don’t be fooled by that name. Yes, she moves with the gaiety of a peacock but that is where it all ends.

Tausi also possessed one of the most lethal head-butts I have seen in a babe. One day at this watering hole the boyfriend was kind of misbehaving. His mouth was uttering profanities and other epithets. Tausi never lifted her hand until, that is, he hit her.

It was just like a movie. She head-butted him three times on the face in such rapid succession that it was not only the guy who didn’t know what hammered him but even those near the hapless guy were also left spellbound!

The ‘sweetie’ went down, ‘maroon soup’ literally gushing out of his reddened bloody nose. Some of us simply found it to be the unexpected sequel to poetic justice. Yes, bullies anywhere in the world should be thumped in return.

Which brings me back to the gender-violence thing. Should martial arts become compulsory for females?

God forbid. Experience shows that if you empower someone, whosoever they are, they would be tempted to use that power and use it corruptly. A female unarmed combat guru would simply be too dangerous a species for the masculine honeys.

Men are physically stronger but women are physiologically excellent. If you don’t agree, try getting pregnant. Making women physically superior also, would simply imperil men. A woman’s weapon of mass destruction is her compelling nightingale voice not the power to throw punches.

Women are simply dangerous as fighters. At least one man in the world, who found and harnessed that truth, is Libya’s Muamar Ghadafi. He has a legion of all women close bodyguards. And if you think he is not well protected, try getting near him.

I remember some Tanzanian men who formed a Tanzania Battered Husbands Society. They have complained that they are being battered by their wives.

Violence, in any form is horrible. Maybe we should teach our children to make love and not war when they grow up. And, with an eye on Tanzania’s population boom, we should also tell our babies – make love and not babies!

Married couples risk HIV infection?

Ye gods! Now we are being told that married couples are one of the groups at greatest risk of contracting HIV/Aids.

Hardly sexy news, that. On a weekend like this such talk in papers is such a kill joy. This will hit at the middle class most. For, they are the couples who make trips for the endless ‘sex seminars’ in say, Dodoma, Arusha and other urban centres.

I didn’t say that all guys who attend any of those endless seminars, and other assorted meetings are actually sex fiends. Some of them are quite law-abiding, God-fearing and Aids-fearing people.

The trouble with the Aids thing is that it has a lot to do with the psyche. Once that seed of doubt is planted in the head the rest becomes a real nightmare.

Imagine mzee comes back to Dar and hugs his wife: “Ahh, lovey dovey it’s great to see you! Let’s have a lovely dinner somewhere and then go home for some good loving.”

The wife might demur and start thinking nasty things about hubby. “Look at the thug. He has been romping and going at it with prostitutes in Arusha. I could strangle him or crush his nuts down there!”

OR, she could be looking at him in an amused manner. “At this rate my husband will kill us both. I hope he used some decent condoms when he was ‘working’ in this seminar…” Hardly thoughts to quicken the wife’s blood.

What about the husband? Wife come from a seminar in Dodoma and coos: “Hello, mume wangu! I missed you so much. I am so tired. All week I have been working hard…”

The husband would look at her suspiciously: “Did she say she was tired? I hope it had all to do with the actual seminar. She looks like she has indeed been exerting herself in something more sinister besides the seminar of poverty alleviation…”

And the evil thoughts could be in the husband. Then the husband might start failing in performing his husbandly duties. The hydraulic system down there fails completely. You look at the wife as if you are sleeping with a potential assassin. It can be hell.

Then you go for sex-aids. Viagra can be expensive even for the middle class guys. But the herbalist might try to help with all those potions. That is why when you read the adverts of the local herbalists, you notice that they start by saying that they can cure all hydraulic problems in men. ‘Nguvu za kiume’ is always at the top of the advertisement.

Of course total abstinence is the only option. But then, you would be abnormal to pretend that you don’t notice heart stopping beauty that is a Tanzanian woman.

The government should simply ban HIV/Aids forthwith or send it to some maximum security laboratory. Immediately!

Umasikini unaleta uroho

Neno ‘fisadi’ limekua linatumika sana siku mbili tatu hizi. Mimi mafisadi nawaita kwa neno tulilolizoea. Haya ni majizi na miroho tu. Kwa nini tunamwita anayeiba kuku au simu ya mkononi, ‘mwizi’ na anayeiba mabilioni fisadi? Ni kumpa heshima mwizi wa mabilioni?

Labda tuseme ukweli – Afrika yetu haikuwa tayari kujitawala. Maana yake wengine tunajikuta kuwa tumefikia kiwango cha kukata tamaa. Mimi nilifikiria kuwa tukijitawala, waAfrika tutakuwa na uchungu na nchi zetu. Lakini haijatokea hivyo.

Ghafla tumejikuta tumemwondoa mkoloni ili kuweka kundi la majizi, tena majizi yasiyokuwa na uchungu na wananchi wao. Hatuwezi kuendelea namna hii. Hatuwezi kukaa na hali hii ambayo sasa kwa kweli inatia kinyaa.

Wanasaikologia wanasema kwamba watu walio toka kwenye umasikini mkali wakipata madaraka mara nyingi wanabadilika sana. Mtu anajaribu kuukimbia umasikini ule aliouacha na kuuweka mbali sana nayo. Kwa hiyo wengi wao wanakuwa hawana kiasi. Kila wakiona fedha wanataka kuziiba ziwe zao (EPA).

Wengine wanaweza kuuza hata wake zao, mradi tu wapate fedha. Na nchi hii imeuzwa sana. Yaani sasa karibu kila mahali pananuka katika nchi yetu. Na kama kawaida hakuna hatua inayochukuliwa. Porojo nyingi tu.

Ni nini hasa kinachowafanya watu wengine wanaojiita viongozi (mimi nawaita watawala) wasiwe hata na chembe ya uoga wa wizi mkubwa kiasi hicho?

Maana yake sasa wananchi wanajua kwamba watawala walikua wanafanya kampeni,siyo kwenda kuwatumikia wananchi, bali kwenda kuwaibia. Mara nyingi watawala walikua wanajikinga kuwa kama kuna wizi unatokea basi wangependa kupata ushahidi ndiyo wachukue hatua.

Sasa kuna ushahidi wa kutosha. Mwenyezi Mungu ameamua kukaa upande wa wananchi wengi wanaodhulumiwa na kuibiwa na watu wanaojiita viongozi. Lakini hatua yo yote haijachukuliwa. Wakifumwa jamaa wanajiuzuru na kuendela kula mabilioni waliyotuibia. Hii itaendelea mpaka lini? Au tulie tu?

Sasa yamefika kwa wafadhili wetu. Nao sasa kinawakera sana. Huku watawala wanaziomba nchi zilizoendelea zifute madeni yetu na hapo wanawaibia wananchi utafikiria watawala hao hawana akili nzuri! Anakuwa masiala hayo!

Sasa Norway nayo imeanza kuwanyooshea kidole watawala wa Tanzania. Jumanne iliyopita waziri wa wa Mazingira na Maedeleo ya Kimataifa wa Norway, Bwana Erik Solheim amesema kuwa WaTanzania wahakikishe kuwa fedha za misaada zinatumiwa kwenye kazi inayouhusika.

Amesema walipa kodi wa Norway wanaanza kudhani kuwa wanafanywa mabwege, kutoa fedha za misaada ambazo zinaishia kukwapuliwa na watawala.

Lakini tutahakikishaje, wakati sirikali ni siri kali na inaendelea kuwa sirikali? Kama Profesa Shivji anavyosema wanasiasa na wabunge wako kwenye kazi hiyo kwa ajili ya kupata fedha na kuiba tu na mimi sioni watumishi waadilifu wa WaTanzania hapa!

Only male fish should be harvested?

One thing I love about our Bunge is that it can be vastly entertaining. Apart from the bum numbing speeches you hear some gems of humour. Bum-numbing speeches because you get the impression what some honourables don’t know what they are talking about.

Y’see, Bongo have come to believe that guys wearing some mostly frayed and out of fashion suits are vastly intelligent than the rest of the wananchi. Which is nonsense of course. Anyone, at least most of us can wear suits.

What with the mtumba culture we have embraced? But does that make you clever? An emphatic no! I’ll tell you what – what is the biggest thing con-men do when they want to make a kill? They wear natty clothes and are usually armed with smart-looking briefcases.

Now that takes you in and you dip you hand, take out your wallet, gladly part with your hard gained moola. But things are changing. If I see some bore droning on and on about what his or her ministry is going to do, or rather not do, to the people of Bongo, I stab my remote control for better entertainment.

You know guy is simply perfoming for the cameras. Telly is a politician’s oxygen. Without it he is dead. No wonder they try as much as possible to compromise the press. And we oblige. Njaa. And which is why every biggie has started his own press unit – stories and pictures of which are rammed to conventional press.

But, as I said earlier the honourables can be funny. One suggested that the only way to increase fish stocks in our lakes and rivers is to catch only male fish. Which is brilliant!

Trim presidential powers!

Religious leaders in the country have been meeting and protested against the excessive presidential powers, establishment of independent Judiciary and build a free Parliament.

The religious leaders call was contained in a 17-point document issued Dar last week at the end of a three-day inter-faith conference to discuss their role in promoting good governance in the country. Among the first thing they should have demanded from the government would have been to boot out the present minister of good governance, Sophia Simba, or axe the ministry altogether.

Anyone in his right mind, not only in the clerics in the United Republic of Tanzania, should think like that. In fact election laws, for example should be amended or scrapped a long time ago. In fact so far the government should concentrate in teaching most of us the meaning of ‘good governance’. Is seems most of us, badly need an elementary lesson in civics. One would think officialdom associate the subject with a beauty contest and fashion.

What is the point of going into the 2010 General Elections when we all know who will win and how the ‘elections’ will be won? Now that all Tanzanians know who is thieving with impunity and what crimes are being committed against the people of Tanzania and nothing happens.

Let’s start from the top. It is, and always has been, that those who will ‘eat’ in the next five years will be determined by how close they are to the throne. With all due respect, but the clerics have been pussy-footing with this topic since independence. What the colonialists left us were never democracies. What they left us were right-wing dictatorships, most with even even worse than the colonialist themselves.

Some few African countries have been lucky to have rulers with the fear of God in them. Like Tanzania. But most of them have simply been despicable monsters which normal people don’t want to be associated with.

The politicians know the value of being seen pally pallyling with the clerics in pictures. But the voice from the clerics should have been much louder than what we are getting. Tanzania is being raped and allowed to be raped by ‘investors’ with the tacit nod of people who call themselves leaders (rulers, to many of us)

The men and women of God, who live with us, should not acquiesce to this injustice and let the rulers get away with sin. Sin is sin and as people of God with should be more vocal against the on-going injustice, against the people of Tanzania.

I know no normal ruler will readily see the wisdom of the separation of powers in the ruling structure. But they all want to play chief. Only a few dozen years ago the chief used to be called husbands-of-husbands and other feudal claptrap. Believe me; they still want to be that. Our rulers sub-consciously want to be kings for life. They are eager to be called king-of-kings. Whoever they are, they are never mortal. They never let power nonchalantly flow off like water off a duck’s back, like Mzee Madiba (Mandela) or Mwalimu Nyerere. The rulers want to wear it to their graves.

They want only their friends and their hangers-on – some of whom we, the wananchi, question their sanity, to rule. Their only qualification is being friends with the throne. This just cannot go on.

If the moral authority in society is to keep quiet, and some obviously demented thugs are ‘given’ the authority to make mayhem in the country, then it is going to be partly the responsibility of the clerics and the executive. Power is never given. Power is wrestled

Tanzania should be a meritocracy, it now is has been turned by a ruling den of some Mafiosi, who are morally bankrupt without even shred of moral compunction in them. You know why we fail? Because our countries are being ruled by governors, who used to be called Sir Richard Turnbull and others, for the queen. The religious bodies are not helping by kowtowing to the whims of the kings in our countries, euphemistically called ‘president’.

Number of people with BP rising. Why?

An Indian heart surgeon, Dr Pujar Suresh recently paid a tour to give a free check out the conditions of the hearts of 200 people in Dar. He did not like what he saw.

The result of their medical conditions did not make sexy reading at all. He blamed bad eating habits, especially in the big towns like Dar es Salaam. It’s an easy analysis, in cities, lives a guy called Fisadi Jones. The more money he gets, he ends up increasingly to be a victim of his mouth and chow.

Eating, almost anything expensive, is his definition of the good life. He hardly is aware that in treating his tummy like a garbage dump,
he is actually slowly but surely digging his grave with his teeth.

The consumerist habits of the middle class, now pitifully reduced to an eating zombie is everywhere to see, especially in this festive season. The kids are wrongly being brought up to believe that fun is about serious gorging and drinking. Therein lies happiness, they wrongly think.

A young man could risk losing his babe, if he suggests, that they go for a nice little walk, you know, loose themselves in town and have fun on Chrismas day. That would be almost treasonable. Walk? Whom do you think she is, to be seen walking? You definitely are out!

So you don’t exercise, you don’t eat reasonably (I did not say a lot), you start getting all those problems. I remember being taught that walking to school is actually good for the little fellas. Today if couples, who have just entered the ‘rat race’ they could lynch you.

How dare you suggest that their little er…Fifi, walk two miles to her nursery school? Oh, our grand kiddies even have grand names too. I know a Maxine (Mhehe) Fifi (Mdengereko) and Junior (Mhaya) and Rihana (Mfipa).

One day I asked my lovely daughter (whose name is classified) why she had a funny name for her kid. She looked at me straight in the eye and said; “Because the names you gave us are not computer friendly, dad.”

Which means that the modern parents are at the mercy of Bill and Melinda Gates? I am sure shortly when you buy a laptop. There will be a large file for names. We could have names like Pixie Frou Frou, after the girl’s dog. The name of the town the kid was conceived like Paris Hilton after the daughter of the hotel magnate. Or, Brooklyn, one of David Beckman’s little boys.

It’s normal to be a copycat. Now you are an African American, until you grow to find out few African Americans give a damn about Africa. You could ape David Bekham and name you baby after the name of the town baby was conceived.

Say, two partners could have a quickie while spending a night at Mpwapwa or Kintinku in Dodoma Region. Say the dad is called Balyorugolu. Their baby could end up being called Kintinku Balyoluguru. Or Mpwapwa Kasusura? You see,Mpwapwa is no Paris.

I don ‘t know if those names will wash. I mean a guy like me – Lusekelo and end up with a kid conceived in Kisiju. Kisiju Lusekelo or Lusekelo Kisiju?

Hang on – let’s zoom back to what causes all those unhealthy pressures and the healthy life. I think it could be partly what we throw into our bodies, and partly the joining the rat race. You see it every day. Just observe carefully. (Watch this space) The truth is you cannot be everything at the same time!

Loving each other to death!

Middle age can be tricky. I hear once you go through the process of procreation, the urge to need each other (men and women, I mean) recedes. With men, they would rather go for an odd chat or drink or two to while the day away.

The things you once cherished increasingly become less and less important. My late old guy used to complain when they have had a tiff with the old girl: “Son, the surefire way of assuring yourself trouble in life are two things – a woman and a car.”

I would chuckle and look the other way. What was the Mzee talking about? I mean in those crazy years it was normal talk to the gang about you’re your and exploits with your ka-chick. Ninety per cent of the talk was wild fantasies. You walked from Dar to Miriam College in Morogoro to see your chick. She escorted you from Morogoro back to Dar. Love, you see.

You would lie to the rest of the gang (we were called gringos) about your exploits. “Did you score?” the gang would ask you, their eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.

“Of course.” You would lie, “What do you think I am, a wimp? Six bloody times! You should have heard her scream with pleasure” You could hear the gringos sigh with a mixture of frustration and desire.

Later the whole gang would quickly disappear into the nearest loo to ostensibly have ‘showers’. Some would were heard to fall flat on the wet floors of the bathrooms.

Before you know it, you are grown up. Money becomes a problem. Before you date her you must have the money. That’s when you are taught that before you spend money you must earn it.

This makes much sense to me today. You just cannot spend money you don’t have. Except, of course, you are an African government, like Bongo. I later came to learn that most of the toffee-nosed bums who did that, ended up being wimps when they grew up. But the culture is very much into fashion today. Individuals and governments. And all the wimps who spend money without working for it are called fisadis. I just wonder for how long we are going to continue with the culture of glorifying thieves.

Also the trouble with middle-age is that instead of working on the joys of this category of age, your body starts rebelling. Your body says: “Okay, old boy, go and kill that ka-little chick. Just right for you.” Your head says yes as you ogle her with desire.

But, south of the border, the ka-thing behaves like a little baby who is learning how to walk. Damn! You feel like singing to the little uncle down there: “Up you go, I said. Attaboy! You can’t let me down in Mzee’s hour of need”

Nothing. Then one day, the scientist of the world discovered those little blue pills. Take two and the fireworks begin. But the medicos forgot to warn the middle aged guys, that…simply don’t overdo it! In the process of trying to ‘kill’ somebody with joy, you might end up very dead yourself, with a cardiac arrest!

Hard times. How will it be, having a barful of grumpy middle-aged potential lovers? The guy thinks the ka-thing could be having the bug and the ka-dada worrying that the James Bond across the table is carrying a loaded gun with a deadly HIV virus, not necessarily at the service of Her Majesty the Queen? Hard times these!

Majizi yafungwe kwanza kabla ya Marshal Plan

Wakati wa Mkutano wa Leon Sullivan mwaka mmoja uliopita kulikuwa na maneno ya kututia moyo sisi Wafrika katika mkutano wa Leon Sullivan unaoendelea huko Arusha. Binafsi nilipendezwa sana na maneno ya rais mstaafu wa Nigeria, Olusegun Obasanjo na mchungaji na mwanasiasa maarufu wa Marekani, Jesse Jackson.

Jesse Jackson amekuwa na maoni kwamba ili kuiwezesha Africa kupata maendeleo ya haraka lazima jamii ya kimataifa, kwa makusudi, ibuni Marshal Plan kwa ajili ya Africa.

Sasa Marshal Plan ilifanywa na Umarekani kwa nchi za ulaya ziinuke kiuchumi baada ya kuteketezana katika vita vya pili vya dunia vya mwaka 1939 hadi 1945. Na kweli iliwezekana. Ndiyo leo tunaiona ulaya ilivyoendelea.

Mchungaji Jackson ndiyo ameshauri hiyo. Na mimi nakubaliana naye. Lakini naona kwanza kabla la hilo tufuate ushauri wa Obasanjo kwanza.

Yeye alitoa kauli nzito dhidi ya viongozi wa Afrika na kuwataka kupambana na rushwa katika nchi zao, hata kama zinawahusu viongozi wakuu waliopo madarakani na wale waliostaafu ndani ya nchi zao.

“Ili mataifa ya Afrika yaweze kupata maendeleo lazima viongozi wake wakubali kupambana na wala rushwa katika nchi zao, hata kama ni wakuu ndani ya nchi zao,” alisisitiza Obasanjo.

Nasikia kauli hiyo ya Obasanjo ilisababisha ukumbi mzima wa AICC kupiga makofi na kumshangilia, kitendo ambacho kilionyesha jinsi suala la ufisadi linavyowakera wengi wa Waafrika.

Kutoka Tanzania na Afrika nzima, lazima tufikie mahali tuanze kuulizana maswali na tuone hatua zikichukuliwa. Mwizi ni mwizi tu! Hatuwezi kusema rais au aliyekuwa rais akiiba basi ni ‘mla rushwa’ na mwizi wa kuku au simu ya mkononi ni mwizi wa kuuawa.

Wote ni wezi tu na lazima wachukuliwe hatua. Hata siku moja mwizi asije akaniomba mimi nimheshimu. Mimi nitakaa naye mbali sana.

Maana yake sasa barani Afrika imekuwa utani. Mtu anagombea urais ili aende akafuje mali, aibe na ajinufaishe. Eti, anaenda Uwanja wa taifa, anashika msahafu na kuapa kwamba atawatumikia Watanzania kwa utii, uadilifu na uwezo wake wote. Anaomba Mwenyezi Mungu amsaidie!

Huko ni kumtania Mwenyezi Mungu! Kumbejeli na kumkebehi Mwenyezi Mungu. Tumekubaliana kitaifa viongozi watalindwa mpaka Mungu akiwachukua. Hawatakufa na njaa. Lakini uroho hauwaishi.

Najua sisi bianadamu tunatabia ya uroho. Lakini kama wenzetu wa nchi zilizoendelea wanachukuliana hatua pale pale mauroho yanavyo washinda, lazima na sisi WaAfrika tuweke mikakati kama hiyo.

Obasanjo alisema: “Inabidi tukubali na tuwe tayari kuwafikisha mahakamani hata mawaziri na wakuu wa polisi kama wamehusika na vitendo vya rushwa, ndipo tutaweza kujipanga na hatua nyingine ya kukuza uchumi wa nchi zetu.” Alisema Mzee Obasanjo.

Kauli hiyo ya Obasanjo imekuja wakati marais kadhaa wastaafu wa Afrika, akiwamo yeye mwenyewe, wakiwa wanatuhumiwa kwa rushwa na matumizi mabaya ya madaraka walipokuwa viongozi.

Pamoja naye, orodha ya marais wastaafu wanaokabiliwa na tuhuma hizo ni pamoja na Benjamin Mkapa wa Tanzania, Frederick Chiluba wa Zambia na Bakili Muluzi wa Malawi.

Sawa kabisa. Nadhani JK amesikia vizuri sana kauli hiyo ya Obasanjo. Hakuna kitu kibaya sana kama wananchi kukosa imani na serikali yao!
Jirani zetu kama Zambia, Malawi wamaulizana maswali. Sisi tunangoja nini? Krismas?

Beat bus fares – walk!

Millions are disgusted by the recently bus fare hikes which have been rammed down our throats. Being a born optimist I have tried to look at positive side of the rising prices of fuel and the knock-on effect it has on the transport sector. I can see none, of course.

If you tickle the transport sector you tickle almost everything. Food goes up. The rising fuel price has made life hell for most of us. Even watching girls go by is getting to be quite expensive. If you give her the glad eye she tells will you she would love a fancy cell-phone.

You go: “Hi baby. How are you doing? How about a drink?”
“Nokia, thanks.” She replies.
Confused, you ask: “Did you say ‘no thanks’ or something?”
“I said ‘Nokia thanks. I don’t want a drink I would love a Nokia phone.” She tells you before you hastily flee to save your pocket from utter ruin.

The fuel price rises have even raised the costs of socialising. Now we consumers, mainly in Dar, have to pay for the stuff coming from the hinterland.

What I have been doing is making some counter-measures to make my life liveable. I have become a minimalist. You only buy what you need. In food I have almost become a vegan. Veggies are the stars in my diet. But it seems the vegetable producers have sent spies out to check on the consumption of vegetables. It is increasing. So the veggie producers have upped the prices of their product.

I am not a foody myself. You should eat only when you are hungry and only enough to live on. Don’t treat your body as a garbage dump. Red meat is definitely out. Only eat chicken and fish. But their prices are through the roof. So you buy them when celebrating New Year. So chicken and fish will be enjoyed in the New Year. Inshallah!

I don’t actually go to work. I work from my bedroom. This cuts costs of commuting. Why use two thousand a day in the hassle of jumping on and off daladalas in different parts of Dar es Salaam when you can text stories using your cell-phone? The late Chinese leader, Deng Xiao-Ping said: “It matters not if the cat is black or what, provided it catches the mouse.”

The way we are going on I fear the government might impose tax on breathing in our country. So I take deep gulps of fresh air every morning – just is case. You never know with governments. They have a tendency to impose impossible taxes on their citizens and lie to them that that is ‘development’ and the economy is growing.

Fuel prices and bus fare hikes. No daladala rides so maybe we should opt to exercising. Walking.

Actually we should walk more. It is good for the heart, researchers say. It also stimulates the blood circulation, gives you a feeling of well being, and makes you bloody tired!

Is the madness going to continue?

I read a mad statement from the Immigration Services Department that the government will this year stop issuing working permits to foreigners engaging in petty businesses reserved for locals.

Immigration services spokesman Abdi Ijimbo, said that foreigners are only allowed to invest in major businesses requiring huge capital.

Indeed. Do asking for a permit to come and sell plastic flowers in Tanzania need huge capital? Or do you need to call the selling of soap, toys and other knick-knack ‘major businesses?

The insult to the people of Tanzania continues unabated. Tanzanians cannot sell soap and other junk coming from the Far East, more than 40 per cent of it is plain junk and fakes.

The scandal at the immigration department has long been around, and as usual, no one has been caught. It doesn’t sound tough to me. All you have to do is to find who signed for a Chinaman or anyone from the Far East come to sell plastic flowers in Tanzania.

Now I know that most of the ruling party has sold off and been bought by the rich guys with money. They are currently busy trying to sweep the muck under the carpet. Trouble is the mound of pooh to be swept under the carpet is too big. The whole Tanzania house now stinks of fresh pooh. You have to have a mega-cold not to smell the stench.

It it now so country-wide and everyone is partaking in the looting. How can an Immigration man allow foreigners come to sell toy flowers to Tanzanians? Worse, once the Far East smart alecs, bring in their junk, they go into slave practice.

They hire young Tanzanian men ad women to walk from bar to bar to sell their stupid junk for them. The kids call what they are doing ‘a promotion’ for their junk. Slavery behind closed doors, if you ask me.

Who, in the first place, even imagines that Tanzania belongs to every tom,dick and hamisi – except, that is, Tanzanians themselves. Believe me dear reader, some thugs are just selling our country from our very feet right now. I think I could do with a bit of anger. Tanzanian should learn not to take crap from anyone including the government itself.

The immigration department is a government department. So has it been allowing in toy sellers from the Far East with government consent. Because if that is the case, then we might as well put up the entire country for sale.

It seems that the business of running the country has overwhelmed us. Let’s put it up for sale to the big powers. After all the second scrabble for Africa is in progress.

He first scramble for Africa had the Brits, Germans , French and the Belgians. The reasons are the same – Africa’s vast resources.

In round two of the scramble we have new entrants – India, China and maybe Brazil. Our ‘sons of Africa’ now in their air-conditioned offices are selling this country now. They are selling everything.

In 560 years rich Tanzanians will be going to China to see the lions and there might be wilderbeest migrations, not in the Serengeti, but in Uttar Pradesh region in India. The Africans will have sold their entire continent for whisky and shangingis!