Happy New Year! ... Maybe!
So the president of Unguja, Amani Abeid Karume and the de facto Pemba boss, have suddenly decided to kiss and make up, after a bitter struggle in the politics of the Zanzibar? Just like that?
And the rest of us are supposed to raise our hands in praise of the Almighty God. Not me. I find it very difficult to suddenly start believing in political miracles. How do we record this for posterity?
That it was a lovely morning in Zenj, as the glorious sun was rising from the East, the air in Zenj was pungent with the aroma of exotic spices, and maandazi, as Mzee, Dr, Bwana Mkubwa suddenly felt the need to phone his rival.
Imagine this:“Assalam Aleykum, Maalim.”
“Aleykum Salaam. Whatever you say, you stole the votes in 1995, you stole the votes 2000 and in 2005. So there!” the maalim’s eyes glow with evil intentions.
“Who’s talking about rigging elections? I am talking about a very serious matter here. I am talking about the expulsion of dudus.”
“What dudus? No Amani, you are not getting away with it this time, dudus or not!”
“Listen man. I am inviting you to attend my awarding of a PhD in mosquito expulsion from the Zanzibar Islands. I will get the doctorate from the Kairuki University Hospital in Dar is Ssalaam.”
“Kariuki Hospital? Surely it should be in Nairobi…” corrects the maalim.
“No, Professor Kairuki memorial hospital in Dar and maalim, I have other goodies to offer you and your buddies in the CUF.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” asks the maalim, who suddenly gets very keen to hear the Zenj president’s story. The Zenj president inches closer and whispers something into the maalim’s ear.
Suddenly he maalim is all teeth, any dentist would love that. “Say no more Amani, say no more. We will discuss the rest of the deal at the Prof Kariuki Memorial Hospital in Dar iss Ssalaam…” says Dr Shamhuna who is the deputy chief minister in Zenj. “Dr Kairuki,” Corrects Dr Shamsi Nahodha Vuai, the Chief Minister.
Impeccable sources in the Zanzibar swear that they do not know what deal has been cut amongst the heavyweights in the Zenj political establishment.
A cheeky observer, wearing a barghashiyeh, was seen thinking aloud:“These guys have been jockeying for positions in the next government. The thing is about who will be the next generation of eaters next year.’ The man was last seen being escorted with men wearing, SMGs, RPGs, tear-gas bombs, stun guns and other anti- personnel paraphernalia.
JAFO AWAPONGEZA WATAALAM WA AFYA KATIKA HOSPITALI YA RUFAA DODOMA NA KUTAKA UBORESHAJI MIUNDOMBINU - *NAIBU Waziri Ofisi ya Rais, Tawala za Mikoa na Serikali za Mitaa(Tamisemi), Selemani Jafo amefanya ziara ya kukagua miundombinu katika Hospitali ya Rufaa ...
16 minutes ago