Tuesday, June 29, 2010

JK’s motorcade succumbs to global warming

Now, it’s not getting funny. This world is full of terrorists everywhere. Last Monday our glorious Prez Jack Mrisho was busy inspecting the environs of Dar es Salaam in his super long, super sleek motorcade of black four-wheeled vehicles.

Suddenly his car stalled around Mavurunza in Kinondoni District, not due to the muddy roads he was inspecting, but because it had developed flat tire, the driver explained.

The prez, a former Col Jack Kikwete, a trained soldier, smartly changed vehicles and went into another super sleek, Japanese four-wheel drive to continue with inspecting the muddy roads of Kinondoni District.

But no sooner had Japanese car number two started when it also stalled. This is because the well-trained State House driver could not re-engage the four-wheel drive (WWD) gears to normal.

Other sources at Ikulu said they suspected that the State House transport department had been infiltrated by terrorists. Some sources said that when Tanzania intelligence agents visited the area the evidence had all the hallmarks of Al Qaeda agents. They it showed that they showed ball-bearings and nails attached to the tires.

But the news hounds accompanying the motorcades were not to be outdone: “Madam, are you sure that the car refused to go because it had been brain-washed by terrorists not to take the president on mud inspection of Dar as Salaam? We have sources who swear that the car broke down because of global warming and is aimed at embarrassing the entire Tanzanian government.”

“Could be.” The increasingly irritated presidential spokesperson says.
“Okay. Just to be sure madam. You are saying that the presidential vehicles stalled because of a flat tire, Al Qaeda terrorists in a deadly collusion with agents of global warming carrying ball bearings and nails. Is that it?”

“Look, you people why do you dwell on disaster only? These things are normal. Why do you harp on trivialities? Haven’t you ever seen presidential cars infiltrated by Al Qaeda before? Why don’t you write about developmental things like roads, mud?”

Sources in government say that citizens of the United Republic of Tanzania have jammed State House with e-mails enquiring about the health of their ruler.

Another Ikulu spokesman has hinted that they are going to write to Japan to determine whether there is going to be a random check of presidential vehicles. But generally, though alarmed a bit, the prez is smiling again.

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