Tuesday, January 12, 2010

MP’s car suffers from hernia!

Ah, so, the juju election campaign is on, eh? At least that’s what Kilindi MP Beattie Shelukindo has said. She has been seeing red over matters superstitious. Seeing visions of people with broomsticks wearing pointed noses, and big eyes not dissimilar to mine (watch the picture) casting spells in her constituency in a plot to make her lose the October elections.

The MP, who says that she will never be swayed from her path of seeking re-election in Kilindi has said that she has been having encounters of an odd kind whenever she visited her area to meet the people.

It is believed that one morning last week her pet cat winked at her and made suggestive and salacious noises at her in the morning while she was having breakfast. She warned the cat that she was married, but the cat cheekily kept on winking and being naughty.

The CCM MP said she believed the antics were part of a wider campaign by her political rivals to unsettle her in the runner-up to the elections. Then came the turn of her car. She said it was not unusual for her car to stall or be involved in accidents whenever she visited the constituency.

Then she added: “I am amazed what is happening to me these days…whenever I plan a tour to the constituency, my car breaks down. For instance I was rushing to a public rally recently when my car broke down in mysterious circumstances. It must have been a car hernia.” she said.

“I boarded a bus which also broke down. The second bus that I boarded met a similar fate, and I was late for the important meeting.” She complained. This naturally un-nerved the law maker.

Presumably the juju guys cast their spells on the ladyship’s shangingi. Then added other evil sorcery devises which stalled the subsequent buses she had boarded, resulting into her missing an important meeting with her constituents.

Beattie Shelukindo is not the only one worried about the ways of the juju men. A lot of politicians are presently busy seeking the attentions of witch-doctors. Some serious money is being thrown in the juju game.

They say, if you need to be an MP you must have at least 100 million, or even more, salted away as bribes and all those sweeteners, I call them insults, for the voters.

But to have a juju man or two is normal procedure. Which is why Beattie Shelukindo is worried about foul play? Tanga is one of the regions where politicians are said to ‘invest’ in their futures in juju. It is an open secret that people hailing from Tanga would rather invest in Dar es Salaam or other areas in Tanzania than in their home region. Unless, of course, you have a formidable witch or two to ‘clear’ the route for you.

Right now my spies in Upare tell me that an MP, who is also a professor, has lost his juju man. I did not know the almighty juju man also die like the rest of us. Disappointingly the witch-doctor has died. The MP’s pressure is soaring to dizzy heights. It is said the man might easily explode with worries any time.

He fiercely believes that this is not for nothing, but the evil deeds of jujumen of rival camps who have done the professor’s juju man in. This is not normal juju technology. The professor swears that the juju man’s death has all the hallmarks of nano-technology.

Ostensibly, Mrs. Shelukindo does not believe in juju. But she baffled her voters when she appealed to the ‘witchdoctors’ to endorse her as she had done a lot to bring development in the area.

“It’s time we stopped believing in witchcraft. We should change our mindsets, and concentrate on development and education.” She said.

Indeed. One wonders why then, did she narrate her juju story if she does not believe in juju. And why has she herself not transformed her mindset in the first place?

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