Drunken driving is legal in Bongo!

In one of my sojourns abroad I was met with very agreeable couple with their two lovely kids. That evening they invited me to dinner at restaurant about three kilometers from their home.

The family had two cars but, came evening they suggested that we walk to the dinner place.
“But why?” I asked, flabbergasted.
“You see, we are planning to have a drink. Have some wine or something.”
“So what?” I asked. This time they were flabbergasted.
“But drunken driving is strictly not allowed in our country. You could get a five-year ban and a stiff fine for that. They police are very strict about drunken driving.” They insisted.

We left two top-notch cars and walked to the restaurant and back. Okay, we had great fun. But I could easily have done with a drive to and from the chow place.

The next morning, while I was yawning and reflecting the events last night, I felt a sense of nostalgia for the United Republic of Bongo. What country was that where one could ply oneself with booze and happily zigzag one’s home, ands God help everybody on the way?

Whatever they say about breaking the law one thing I have noticed – breaking the law is cool in the United Republic of Tanzania. As long as you don’t want to violently from power and you are well connected, you can literary get away with murder!

Drunken driving is perfectly okay in Bongo? You go to a watering hole and get pissed until you are blotto, then you stagger off to your car and start committing attempted murders on other citizen’s life and limb on the road. You may even succeed to commit suicide and kill other people in the process. Suicide driver or something.

What will society do? The traffic cop will hardly notice that before you killed other people you were bombed dizzy. Instead the traffic cop will have been busy admiring your four-wheel contraption and likely to ask for some chai for himself too.

Your chick will be busy, not restraining you, but admiring mzee fiddling with the latest CDs and making sure that rivals see her, well and clear nodding to the car stereo belting out the tunes. And society in general will be admiring as the drunk zooms around town. Society, in general will be nodding their approval on your drunken exploits. He has made it. He is rich.

But being bombed alone is not enough. The apart from the latest car you have to have latest cell phone. To have the right car, fairly drunk, the latest cell phone is absolutely de rigueur for any self-respecting city pretender claiming to have ‘made it’.

The phone must have a disco, radio, TV, a picture of your latest concubine (few spouses are lucky enough to make it to mzee’s I-Pod) a fast-take away restaurant, internet and everything – you just name it, it is in there.

Never mind that your own dad and mom are living – no, not living – semi starving in some hovel somewhere in some village. They are busy scratching mother earth with their chapped hands using hand-holes. While in town you claim that they are ‘farmers’.

I think if the billions stolen at EPA grand corruption could have made it to the rural areas that would have been understandable. But the guys are a living lie. Not I think Tanzania, as a country, is living in a bubble. One day that bubble will burst.

For now drink driving is cool, add a cell-phone and talking mostly nonsense while you are busy arranging a date in a guest house with someone’s spouse – that is no problem! You see breaking the law has become so common that we actually don’t need to worry about EPA. You start with small crimes and then go to big crimes. The society is now immune to criminality. You can break the law and most likely you will be handsomely rewarded for it!

What the opposition should fight

I watch the opposition forces in Tanzania with great pity. They are presently busy flailing away at the constant political jabs from the ruling state-party, the mighty CCM, and are slowly getting punch-drunk. They are waiting for next year’s general elections and think that miracles will happen then. Mawe!

For example CCM’s secretary general, Joe Makamba has just taunted Tanzanians that he sees no substantial threats from opposition parties in the forthcoming civic elections. If that happens, then naturally CCM will win the parliamentary and presidential elections, he says.

Joe has a point. I would also say that, if I had the backing of the state juggernaut supporting me. He has also started using the magic word, kishindo (landslide) again after what happened in 2005.

But everyone knows that those landslides are not natural or home grown. You don’t need the dreaded El Nino rains to get such political landslides. In our countries they usually occur with a lot of help from human beings. The landslides in most African elections are man-made.

What the opposition should do is monitor those landslides and remove the causes. Some think that the pressure to the rulers is not enough. CUF recently had a rally to demand for an independent Electoral Commission. That should be louder.

There are also demands for independent candidates to contest the next elections. But that is being denied by the government. Our rulers are insisting on taking part in a football match and being the ref at the same time. Just take out your dictionary and check-out the word ‘dictate’ and you get a rough idea of those landslides.

But the opposition is partly to blame. Going for elections next year, is simply playing and endorsement of those who love the word ‘dictate’. You tie one hand of your opponent and invite him for a fair fight. That can not be so. It’s just no contest.

The opposition is also misreading the political terrain of Bongo. They should know that, like any people in this world, Tanzanians want change. First most of the people of Bongo want the CCM out, yesterday. This is simply because the ruling party has nothing new to say. But then, what is the alternative?

I hastily add that the opposition also has nothing new to say. Maybe Chadema has been making some right and credible noises to its listeners. Few of us even understand what the other parties stand for. Unity of the opposition remains as elusive as ever.

This leaves the CCM rubbing their hands in glee. They can throw all those damaging blows at will to the opposition. When it comes to CUF, the CCM throws a constant stream of punches that CUF is a religious-based (Islamic) party. This causes other political forces to recoil in horror.

When it comes to Chadema, the CCM propaganda machine drops heavy hints that it is a tribal party. TPL is branded as Gus Mrema’s personal party. Few of us really know what NCCR is up to.

This is plain to see that without unity the rulers for life of the opposition parties will only dream of the political power in Tanzania.
Change should also apply to the opposition. As it is now, it looks like the leadership of the opposition parties not only run, but also owns those parties. This running of political fiefdoms and calling them political parties for more than a decade simply won’t wash

Leadership ethics? Where?

Former close aide of the late Mwalimu Nyerere, Joe Butiku, has warned that corruption has become so endemic that it is now like a cancer in the Tanzanian society.

He should know, for he was there, when a successive bunch of liars diddled Mwalimu to think that they were his ardent followers. In fact they were bidding their time and eventually outlasted the late Mzee. Now they are simply a national embarrassment.

Butiku has said hardened corrupt individuals holding public office have been infecting erstwhile honest Tanzanians with the bribery and corruption ‘disease”. That is simply not true. What we have now is not a disease, but a pandemic!

“Corruption is eating our nation. More and more public servants today are tossing public leadership in favour of dabbling in grand corruption, which can explain the sudden wealth that many of them now display.” He has lamented.

And the most irksome thing is they flaunt it! The rest of us mortals are supposed to applaud their idiosyncrasies. But then, when there is impunity, people start wondering and asking questions.

For example, the government is urging people to pay their taxes to help development. Serious things like spending their taxes in buying Shs 100 million shangingis each for the district Bwana Mkubwa to inspect development . Like the opening of a Shs 5 million shilling toilet in a primary school. Of course the money to dig the toilets that have been donated by donors.

Then the premier goes public and tells his civil servants to cut spending for the luxuries. The civil servants simply ignore him and buy more shangingis. Some of us mortals start wondering – just who is the boss?

Then the government orders the people to pay their taxes. The natural question from the people is - why? To get social services, the government replies, trying to be reasonable.

But we think we citizens of Tanzania need tax exemptions. Never! The government huffs, everyone is supposed to pay tax or else! Then the citizens decide to jog the government’s memory a bit. The government gave a tax exemption of $11 million to a foreign company … Assayers.

This foreign company is given preference to the Tanzania’s school system, medical facilities and other social amenities so as to please a foreign capitalists company. If it is given a tax-exemption why not the citizen of the United Republic of Tanzania?

The government resorts to its pet stance – see nothing, hear nothing and say nothing. You only get an odd statement that the government means business when it says that it will get all those fisadis.

We hear that nearly 13 million Tanzania never pay tax. But everyone knows that. Most businessmen don’t pay tax, they just ‘contribute’ to the ruling party out of love and affection.

We all remember when former premier Fredo Sumaye advised businessmen to support CCM if they wanted to do business in Tanzania. The question is why pay tax so that the least productive guys in town continue to buy shangingis?

So the people decide that instead of paying tax, they would rather put their money on DECI, pyramid system or any other place instead of government coffers to see the unholy alliance of traders and civil servants chop all the money.

Mr. Joe Butiku and his types have an uphill task. For years now, every reign of the rulers have pretended to fight corruption. The rulers are thinking aloud with their mouths. It looks official now, unless the wananchi ‘see’ actions against the excesses, they will also retaliate – why pay taxes for the free-loaders to have fun at their expense? It seems to be paying if the wananchi learn to do nothing or also learn the game of the plunderers who have made ‘stealing’ quite a respectable past-time in our country.

Privatised Bongo in 30 years time?

In the next thirty years the United Republic of Tanzania might not look like it does now. We will have gone though a successive regimes and presidents. I might even contemplate to become on of those presidents myself.

For - anyone can be a president. Right now the CCM government is fiercely resisting the number one issue of the Tanzanian democracy. It does not want independent candidates – a thing which is highly undemocratic, although we claim to be building a democracy.

As it is in Tanzania, democracy is only at play when and if the CCM wins. A reason which is ludicrous. But the CCM has its freedom, even if it means slowly to strangle itself. The people of Tanzania will not forget EPA, Richmond, Kiwira coal deposts and other scandals in a hurry. Those scandals were borne and nursed by CCM and its government, none
other!

And independent candidates are on their way – whether CCM likes it or not. I know that there are some CCM guys chafing under the guys who have bought out the CCM, not because of any higher ideal, but because they have the money. I know the good guys in the CCM resent it, but their party has been bought out by people whom polite society call ‘thugs in suits.’

CCM fears that if independent candidates are allowed the good guys in the CCM might opt to become independents, rather than be tarnished by thugs in suits.

But things will change – they will have to change! You just cannot dictate to the people of Tanzania to that extent. We have heard of politicians being booed in different fora. Those in power should know that the word ‘fisadi’ will not be out of fashion in the year 2010, elections.

If he independent candidate will enter the fray, then count my name in for president. You simply lie yourself to the top and promise Tanzanians things you will never deliver.

Now there is this selfish thing, which same call privatisation. I don’t mind privatisation – if it is done properly. Not like that joke at Kiwira coal mine. That is simply grabbing a coal mine.

I fear the next president and some minister might collude to cut out chunks of Tanzania for themselves. I wonder what the present president will fancy. Bagamoyo is a very historical town. Maybe our president, Jack Mrisho, might fancy it and say that from now on the historical town is actually his, through the Bagamoyo Heritage Company Ltd. If we want to visit it then the rest of us will have to pay in dollars.

Another president might fancy the Serengeti National Park and privatise it. We have to pay in dollars enter to see the wildlife. The next president might say he is in love with the Selous National Park. He will own Selous Game Park Company Ltd. and become partners with his family and girlfriends and a friendly minister of national resources and tourism.

The president of Zanzibar might say he has started the Stone Town Company Ltd. If you want to enter it, you must pay in dollars, of course. By the way I hear that the plum parts in Stone Town are slowly being bought out by the ruling class!

What will I fancy when I become the prez of the United Republic of Tanzania (If it is still there)? Oh well, I will look at the Kilimanjaro National Park very closely.

We could privatise it and I will order that it be bought by the Roof of Africa Company Ltd. It will be owned my chick and I, of course. I will be in partnership with the then minister of natural resources and tourism.

In thirty years time Tanzanians will be owned by companies of former presidents and ministers who earlier had sworn that they will serve the country diligently and honestly, so help them God!

Of leaders and rulers

When we are born, human kinds first think about ourselves. Me. My mother, then my father. But the paramount thing is me. Selfishness is inherent in us from day one.

Then when the brood starts to grow and you find yourself with brothers and sisters. You start to be taught by your parent that there is this business of sharing. Watch all kids – they just don’t like it. They want the ‘me’ aspect.

Then you are taken to school and decent teachers drum in the sharing aspect into your little head. In our primary school report every end of the term there was this line - consideration for others.

School succeeded to remove the ‘me’ in some of us, at least to a decent extent. But not to most of us. We grew up with ‘me’ until we became adults and assumed public office. They call it public office, but to most guys it simply means the opposite. It becomes a private office.

So if it is ‘my’ office, how can I ‘eat’ it? If that hangover of selfishness stays with in you to adulthood you are going to be more susceptible to corruption.

You want all the money in the world to be yours, all the chicks or guys to be yours and all the lavish attention to be yours. You might be 50 years old but the child in you is still intact. You are a middle aged fake and a thief. You could look dapper and in smart suits, but you are still a thief.

When you are given public office it’s even worse. You start assuming airs and arrogance sets in. Because suddenly you have toughs guarding your every move, protecting your home and family. You might end up chasing away your own aunt from the village who comes to your place without an appointment. It has happened before.

Now to some of us spectators of this human farce there comes in the question of language. The media casually call these human clowns ‘leaders’.

Not me. Leader comes from the word ‘lead’. To lead you are supposed to show an example so that the decent people you are leading acknowledge and follow your example.

I was a great admirer of the late Mwalimu Nyerere. The moment you met him you realised that he was a human being. A great man, but a human being. That was leader and a half. Some people even went to ridiculous levels of aping even the way he spoke.

Mwalimu basically despised money and concentrated in the business of running the country. Sometimes making wrong decisions. He mostly admitted when he goofed and said he was only human.

But now Tanzanians are getting very short of leaders. Leaders are an endangered species! The are some guys who think leadership is about body guards and parades. I call those guys ‘rulers’ not leaders. They like to show muscle, pomp and circumstance. But they steal tax-payers money like hell! They steal from us.

How could you name a thief a leader? We cannot follow that example. Tanzanians cannot all be thieves. Some of us were decently brought up. We have a conscience. We were constantly taught that it is wrong to steal!.

Today it is chic for thieves to call themselves ‘leaders’ I cannot admire that. They can steal and rule with guns. My question always is: How many eggs do they eat at one breakfast sitting - a hundred?

The nasty generation gap!

I was busy minding my own business the other day, listening to civilised music which makes the heart relax. You get that when you enjoy some sane music, be it in love, broken hearts and just life in general. It felt good.

That is, until when my cell-phone rang. It was some niece, a friend’s daughter, inviting me to her 18th birthday. I couldn’t say no to the little girl I have slowly but surely watched her grow. I couldn’t say no to a damsel in distress.

The week passed before you could say ‘party’. I dressed like any middle-aged man who is worth his age. No suit, of course! I hate suits because they have lately been the first line of defence for con-men. I tend to be very wary of those guys stuffed in suits who simply want to make a statement – mostly a false one - to the rest of us.

My niece was delighted to see me. I am popular with both my nephews and nieces. Could be because I am a modern day uncle and I can be reasonably permissive to the new kids in the block. Kizazi kijacho.

Bottle of booze were secretly exchanging hands amongst the young guys. I looked the other way, of course. Sometimes you have pretend that you are not there.

I watched the youth having fun. Their dress was hideous – at least to me. The chicks in impossibly tight minis which they kept pulling down to their knees. The minis promptly went to their original ridiculously revealing ‘thighland’.

The young men had these jeans which they wore below their waists. If you watched their behinds you would have thought there was pooh held in there. But they told me that was fashion.

Cool. Uncle kept quiet and watched the uncles have fun. There was decent music – so far. But it seemed the niece wanted to warm things up a bit more. Suddenly the sound system exploded and there was this singer shouting ‘Do me! Do me! Do me and I will do you!’

Suddenly I found this interest in my nails. I urgently needed a manicure. I also pretended not to hear the ‘Do me!’ pornographic hit.I never removed my gaze from my nails. The uncles were squealing with delight and shouting ‘Do me!

Thankfully the music ended and I relaxed a bit. But the niece loved the tune. So she fiddled with the sound system and it was the same number again. ‘Do me! Do me!..’ and this time I started studying my shoe strings. I untied and tied them again while pretending not to hear.

I thought that this was the end of the ordeal. But it was not to be. The niece rewound the number and she came and picked me. “Uncle let’s dance!” I opened my mouth in protest. But she was having nothing of it “Uncle let’s dance…Do me! Do me!”

I got up amid great cheer from the youthful guys. I moved awkwardly while developing a great interest in studying the ceiling. There were two geckos eating mosquitoes and wondering why these humanoids were yelling ‘Do me!’

“Uncle you really can dance… let me rewind…” the girl enthused.
“Oh no, baby!” I protested, “It is my hamstring. I can hardly move. You guys just continue to have fun. I am off. It was lovely.” I hastily bid them my adieus and literary ran from the place.

Ni haki tu,wauaji wanyongwe

Unajua, kuna kitu ambacho kinamfanya mwanadamu kuitwa mwanadamu. Pamoja na kutembelea miguu miwili, hisia zote na kubwa zaidi akili. Hiyo ndiyo inamfanya mwanadamu ajitenganishe na viumbe vingine vya mwenyezi Mungu.

Kuna vitu vinavyofanya mwanaadam aitwe mwanadamu. Mtu anayeonekana kama mwanadamu, halafu akaishia kuwa na mwenendo wa kinyama mara nyingi hatusiti kumwita mnyama.

Sasa hivi karibu nchi nzima imekumbwa na mjadala mkali baada ya watatu watatu kuhukumiwa kunyongwa kwa kumuua kijana, Masumbuko Dunia (13) ambaye alikuwa ni mlemavu wa ngozi.

Jaji Gabriel Rwakibalila aliwakuta vijana hao watatu, mjini Kahama, na hatia ya jinai ya kuua kijana huyo kwa sababu za kishirikina. Eti kupata viungo vya vya kijana huyo, au mtu yo yote mwernye ulemavu wa ngozi kutawawezesha kupata utajiri. Sasa kuna wanaopinga hukumu ya hiyo ya kifo.

Wanataka kuwafanananisha wauaji hao na watu wa kawaida. Lakini wote tunajua hivyo sivyo. Watu watatu wakikaa na kupanga mauaji ya kinyama (pre-meditated murder) ya mwanadamu mwenzao, ili kumkata kata viungo vyake, ili waviuze, ili wawe matajiri, si watu hao, ni wanyama.

Simba mla watu akiua wanavijiji, hakuna mtu anamuonea huruma. Serikali inawatuma ma-game ranger, ili kumuua simba huyo. Hakuna mtu anayeshituka. Kwanza ndiyo jamii inashukuru kuondolewa na kero hiyo ya hatari.

Afadhali hata simba, anayeuwa kwa ajili ya njaa. Hayo majambazi, yanayo jiita wanadamu, hayakua na nia nyimgine bali uroho wa kinyama na ushirikina. Yanatisha jamii, kama vile simba mla watu. Sasa kwa nini jamii isijikinge na wanyama hao, ambao wanatumia akili zao kuwinda binadamu wenzao kama wanyama?

Jamii ina haki kabisa ya kujihami. Wasingekamatwa na vyombo vya dola
nina hakika wangaeendelea na uovu wao wa kutisha. Kwa nini waachiwe waendelee kukera jamii?

Wanaharakati wa haki za binadamu wanasema kuwa hoja isiwe jino kwa jino bali kutovunja haki za binadamu. Mimi nadhani mtazamo huu unapakwa rangi kidogo na mafundisho ya dini. Kusamehe.

Kama ni haki za binadamu, mbona majambazi hayo hayakufikiria kuhusu haki za kijana Masumbuko Dunia? Wakamchinja kama mbuzi, halafu tukae nao katika jamii? Hiyo haiendi kabisa.

Wanasema kuwa adhabu ingefaa kwa kuwarundika ndani ili wajirudi. Je aliyeuawea anajirudi vipi. Tena, swala hapa siyo wao majambazi. Swala ni jamii ambayo inalazimishwa kujikinga na ugaidi wa wanyama hao wanaojiita watu.

Wanaotetea wanyama hao wa Kahama wajiulize – je , ingekuwa aliyeuawa na kukatwa katwa vipande kama mbuzi angekuwa mwanao ungefanya nini? Ungesema afungwe na kupewa nafasi ya kujirudi, ili asiuwe watu wengine?

Nasema tena, jamii ina haki ya kujikinga na kuwaondoa wanyama hao kabisa. Na hilo liwe onyo. Mimi naona tusipoteze hata muda kwa kulumbana kuhusu ‘haki’ za wanyama hao. Kama hawakuweza kuishi katika jamii na kudhalilisha jamii nzima, basi wanyongwe tu

Wauaji hao wametangaza vita dhidi ya jamii. Sasa katika vita watu wengi wanageuka kuwa wanyama. Ndiyo maana mahakama za wakati kama huo hutoa adhabu ya kifo kama ni onyo la waharibifu. Majasusi na wahaini hunyongwa. Na wauaji, kwa sababu usalama wa nchi unakuwa siyo makini, wakipatwa wananyongwa. Haki za binadamu? Na haki za raia je?

Huwezi kusema ukarejesha wanyama kama hawa kwenye maadili na utu. Wakionja damu ya mtu huwezi kuwarudisha katika mabadiliko katika maisha. Eti wauaji wanaweza kuwa mfano mkuu wa jamii na kufanya watu wengi kukiri udhaifu wao na kuwa wanyoofu maishani. Kusadikika huko!